dk;dc

thats where it goes

2011-06-25T16:22:00.000-05:00

"Are you telling me," Archie wondered why he asked. He could see it on Emily's face. "You want to move back?"

True they'd had a bit to drink. They'd danced at the little club and it had been good times with Charlotte and Rosco. They didn't have friends like this back in Omaha. They were all alone there. Their neighbors were old. He didn't know anyone their own age to go out with. They were far from this friendly atmosphere. No Gordy and Floyd to watch sing to their hearts content.

"I dunno." Emily seemed full of a sad emotion of some kind. Obviously, he was not enough. Yet, she hung on to him as if she wouldn't survive the night without him. "I want to stay close, you know. I want to have friends."

"I know." It sounded like a shouting match now as they were near the bathrooms at the bar, but the music was loud and pumping the walls. She kissed him as if he was important to her. He couldn't forget that. Finally, they made it back to the others and Charlotte thought they should end the night at the all night dinner.

"I'm hungry for pie." Her toothy grin was endearing. Archie couldn't say no to that. Next thing he knew they were in the late night lights of the diner, a few blocks from the club.

"Maybe Rosco and I can come up to see your place." Charlotte suggested over hot coffee and a piece of cherry pie she shared with Rosco. Archie and Emily split a piece of chocolate silk pie.

"Yeah, that would be great." Archie sighed. He wanted to think what the four might do, not getting through this night back at Emily's parents. He gritted then looking at the Motel 6 across the way. He'd so much rather be with Emily there than her old room even if they had lived their for months..not so long ago. He took another bite of the creamy pie.

"We'd invite you over, but the place is so tiny." Charlotte admitted then. She looked at Rosco as if they were just too pathetic.

"Maybe you guys need to move to Omaha. You could stay with us, if that would help...until you found something." Archie offered.

Rosco just smiled and ate a cherry then. Yeah, Archie got the impression they were in their on little stale mate too. It was hard to figure out progress, sometimes.

The future

2011-05-02T19:42:00.000-05:00

"We should do something...since you're here." Charlotte knew it was a last minute thing, but Emily was in town. And how long could they long over a sleeping baby at Emily's parents. Charlotte had found Emily in the nursery.

"God, yes, lets get out of here." Emily physically took Charlotte's hand. This was strange. Obviously, they weren't exactly close. After all, Charlotte lived with Emily's ex-boyfriend. "What do you have in mind?"

"Well," Charlotte knew she had to be pleasant and full of surprises. "You want to go to a club?"

"What club?" Emily almost laughed.They met the guys downstairs.

"I hear Floyd's got a band." Charlotte told her.

"Floyd?"

"Yeah, he and Gordy have been playing together. Just the two of them. Its not really a club, but kind of. Its dark. People play pool there." She smiled then with a shrug.

"Gordy's in a band?" Emily looked as if she didn't believe her.

"They get together ever so often. Its not a paying gig, but no one boos them, off the stage." Charlotte couldn't stop smiling about it.

"What about Rosco, when is he going to play for us?" Emily looked at Rosco then who had been talking to Archie downstair. He looked at her with his eyes wide shut.

"What are you two talking about?" He squinted then as he reached for his keys.

"Just about you, babe." Charlotte grinned more as she leaned into him. "Wondering when you'll play with Gordy and Floyd."

"As soon as I can find that guitar in that mess of ours." He peered at her.

"He's just not a scruffy as I remember." Emily laughed as she put her arm around Charlotte.

"Ha, ha..very funny, Em." Rosco pursed his lips.

"Come on, lets go." Charlotte was trying her best to have a good-time here. No need to bring up how Rosco used to be.

oh no

2011-03-06T11:39:00.000-06:00

Emily couldn't quite calm down even with her mother around and her baby brother too. He was sleeping like a little angel. Emily couldn't help but want to touch his tiny fingers. Really, it tugged at her heart that maybe..she'd want one of her own. But she wanted to shake that feeling. Not now.

"Maybe, I shouldn't have come." She felt breathless in fact. She'd only seen her father for a moment, and she could hardly take it. A panic attack was brewing. Emily pulled and her hands, but hugged herself then as she sat on her mother's bed.

"Don't say that, its good to see you. You, just missed your sister." Her Mom put her arm around her.

"Are, you, all right?" Emily looked up at her Mom. She had to be the strongest woman Emily ever knew, but it was hard to tell her this. Even now.

"Of course, everything is fine." She seemed OK that her father was back.

"You don't love him, or anything, do you?" Emily had to know. Her mom couldn't. She wouldn't. Not now. But her mother didn't say anything. Her arm dropped from Emily and a bit of emotion went from confident to sad. Her mother looked away as if Emily needed to guess.

"There will always be a part of me that loves him." Her mother winced. "I have you two to thank him."

"Mom!" Emily felt a bit shattered. "No, no..no..no...don't do this now." Emily felt her voice falter. "You can't. You won't. You don't need him. You never have." Emily gritted. She stood up as soon as she'd made the baby flinch.

"Well, maybe...he needs me." Her mother's words were barely there.

Emily felt herself sink into tears. God, if her mother remarried her father....Emily couldn't bare to think it possible.

just a visit

2011-02-23T01:11:00.006-06:00

Archie drove Emily down to her Mom's for the weekend. It looked less of winter here. Just bits of ice and snow on the ground, not like the ice tundra they'd came from. Just a real vacation, he supposed. But not by much. It was cold. Oh, so cold.

Maybe it was more than the weather he felt. It seemed Emily was changing. More quiet. Possibly, even evil.

"Just don't do anything you'll regret." He looked at her and held on to the steering wheel, white knuckled.

"I won't." But she didn't promise anything. She looked simple in her gray T and his slouchy cardigan. She was in her black converses and skinny jeans. Not a bit of makeup on. How would anyone know who she was?

They pulled up in the driveway and got out. She looked at the suburban house as if she hadn't been in it for years. When they got to the door, her father opened it. His smile was irritating, but Archie did his best not to think on it. After all, they'd never met.

Instantly, her dad went through the duties of shaking her hand. He hugged both of them as if all was forgotten. It was as if Emily might be his favorite.

"How's the weather up there?" He made it sound they'd just came from Alaska instead of Nebraska.

"A good bit more snow on the ground." Archie nodded.

Of course, Emily didn't stay to talk, she ran upstairs to see her baby brother.

"Well, she hasn't changed much." Her dad just said as he motioned Archie to come to the kitchen. There were cold cuts out. Chips and dips too. Someone was trying to make an effort. Could it be her Dad?

"Oh, Em's going through some changes." Archie grinned. "You know, its not easy being a newlywed."

"Right." Bart nodded. "Does she cook?"

"Some." Usually, it was the frozen meals that came in a bag, but Archie wasn't complaining. "We cook together, a lot. Mostly weekends."

"She never cooked here. She'd cut some boy's hair, constantly, it seemed. I can just bet they were messing around. She tell you about him?" Bart winced.

"I believe she did." Archie would prefer to make his sandwich than speak of Emily's old boyfriends.

"She was a weird little girl." Bart sighed.

"Well, then, she thought of you as a weird old Dad." Archie bit into a slice of pepperoni and smiled. There was no need to charm him. After all, Archie knew who's side he was on.

strange thoughts

2011-02-21T02:02:00.011-06:00

Kal wished Whitney hadn't brought up the cold meds. Of course, it was she who had found them. Wondered, if something was up. OK, he was there when it happened. A minute, was all it would have taken to dispose of the evidence. He was meaning to.

He couldn't dare tell her that he still had these tendencies..to experiment.

He wondered if Whitney knew. The real him. She was bound too. But she'd thought it was Rosco who had done such a needy thing, crunch the over the counter meds in a little glass cup that she used for cooking.

Kal had forgot about it..until now. Why did he even bring it up. No. She did. Didn't she?

He didn't want to think what he was, what he could become. Everyone had their own little regrets..now didn't they? He was happy that both of his kids had turned out perfectly. Now that was over, why couldn't he have some fun..again. Experimenting.

Whitney had scared him that one time about the story on the news with the 'bath salts' how maybe it was some sort of cocaine that did bad things to the brain. Some college student had slit his throat in front of his parents. It disgusted Kal so. He was not like that. He wasn't.

He kissed Whitney then. Hoped he'd never think about such stupid shit, again. He hadn't bought any drugs in a long time. He wasn't going too. Especially, with the baby in the house. He loved his wife. He cherished this life. And yet an ugliness prevailed inside him. Sometimes, he just had to get away from the humdrum of life.

not quite sure

2011-02-18T02:41:00.013-06:00

"Did you notice anything different about Charlotte?" Kal asked Whitney a few nights later when they finally got some down time in front of the TV..only there was nothing good to watch.

"Not really." Whitney yawned. "I mean, she looked sad, but when has she never looked sad. She's just a sad person."

"Yeah, well, she's making Rosco sad now." Kal had his arm around her and hugged her closer. "Gordy called me. Rosco wants to get medicated."

"What?" She winced. "He's not even the one who was in the shooting. And, and I know you don't trust him. Wasn't there, that one time, you thought he's smashed some cold meds up to snort?"

"I didn't know for sure..because I was afraid to ask." Kal shook his head.

"We've never seen him high, have we?" Whitney was concerned. Now more for Charlotte than Rosco. But in a different way.

"I dunno." He looked puzzled now. She took his hand. Things were perfect between them. Why couldn't they stay that way?

here we are

2011-02-15T09:44:00.025-06:00

They should have been celebrating Valentines day, but here they were, over at her mother's. Bella knew she had to be there. She hadn't meant to let this many days slip by with her dad there. Actually, she thought he'd be gone by now.

"He's starting this new job." Her mother sighed.

"So, are you OK, with that?" Bella had her arm around her mother's shoulder. They were in her mother's little haven with the baby who had gone to sleep on them again. They watched him for sometime, on his back. His dark tuffs of hair made him look a bit of a rockstar already.

"I guess, I have to be. He won't say it, but he still acts like this is ...his house." Her mother hugged himself.

"Where is he sleeping?" Bella wanted to know. She didn't think there was any love lost between them.

"The basement." Her mom looked hurt that she'd even have to ask.

"I just hope he's behaving himself." Bella sighed.

"I guess. He, he hasn't had much to do with Sam. You know, how he is around kids. But he kept talking about Jane and you know, your kids. I think he wants to be a grandpa, now." Kat nodded.

"Really?" Bella didn't see that, but maybe he was ready.

Just then, Jane jetted in. Bella and Kat shushed her, but she barreled on to the bed. Thankfully, it didn't squeak.

"Is grandpa an alien?" She asked.

Kat looked at Bella wondering what that meant.

"His parents came from Quebec." Kat told her.

"I think he's from outerspace." She decided. "My gramp is an alien from outer space."

Bella and Kat couldn't help but smile.

true colors

2011-02-12T01:10:00.022-06:00

"These my grandkids?" Bart looked the little ones over when they got to the house. Fish plastered an easy going smile on his face. This was him? Bella's father.

Well, he acted all cool, but he could see Kat wasn't that thrilled he was there. Bart had to tell him all things he'd done. He'd put a new filter in the furnace and put in new light bulbs. Fish wasn't sure why he needed to know, nor cared. After all, he was lugging in a kid on his hip and holding Gib's hand.

Thankfully, Jane climbed right up Bart and gave him a note. She'd drawn him a picture of a heart and it had I love hearts on it.

"Well, isn't this special." Bart smiled at Jane. "I don't get many Valentines." He looked back at Kat who gave him a sullen look.

Fish felt as if he'd walked in on something bad, perhaps. Maybe not. The kids went off to do what they knew best. They had their little corner where the toy box was. He racked his fingers back through his head of curls. It was then, Bart gave him the third degree about being a teacher.

Then he had to listen another twenty minutes or so how Bart was back as a consultant on something. It sounded big. "I give talks on how people should treat others at work. You know, customer service shit."

Fish wanted to laugh. Seriously, he thought Bart would be a perfect bank robber or drug dealer by the way he looked. This was who had been missing from the picture all this time? He could see Bart thought a lot of himself. As it was, no one else was going too.

He ended up drinking several cups of coffee with Bart. He listened about Bart's adventures in St. Louis. "Hell, I even had to be Detroit for awhile. I'll never go back there." Bart shook his head. "That's a cold mother."

Fish bit the corner of his bottom lip. Where was Bella when he needed her? Thank God, Sophie started to fuss. He went to her.

"You want to hold her?" Fish then asked when he got back to the kitchen with her.

"This one yours?" Bart said ever so blunt.

"Yes, it is." Fish was pleased that Bart had asked. He guessed. "You? You want to hold her?"

"I wouldn't know what to do with one." He shook his head, no.

"Gotcha." Fish was ready to go, but Bella was off with her mother and he wondered if he'd ever get Jane back in the kitchen to talk to her grandfather who she'd wanted to meet so badly. Now she wasn't giving him the time of day. And neither was Bella.

never ending

2011-02-09T03:52:00.001-06:00

"No, you wouldn't," Gordy said into his cell to his brother Rosco while he was putting a pamper on the baby. At least the other two were now full fledged potty trained. It really was the little things that he savored in his life these days. Like when he knew the old smoke detectors still worked in his mother's house. Definitely, by spring, they had to put in new windows. Otherwise, they might never manage the heating bills. "What are you saying? You don't even know if you need antidepressants?" He got back to his brother's foolishness.

"I'm just saying, someone has to do something." His brother was being vague.

"Well, has she..." He didn't want to ask if Charlotte had tried to hurt herself. If Rachel got wind of this, she'd spaz, for sure. And really, she needed to rest. She had a very bad cold at the moment. She was in bed, asleep. "Look, just see if you can get her to find someone to talk to about all this. I thought the library was providing counseling in the aftermath of this."

"Its the City." Rosco clarified. "I can't get her to go. She's afraid they'll think she's crazy."

"But its confidential." Gordy wasn't sure he got the reasoning, but this was Charlotte they were talking about. He knew she was fragile, yet in some ways, she'd endured so much with Rachel. It was just Rachel wouldn't be any good at helping Charlotte right now. She'd been furious about what happened to Parker. Of course, she wasn't there the day it all went down at the library. She was fussing with some pre-school teacher about Jane.

Rachel seemed to think Jane was a genius. She'd caught her writing bad words on paper which was not acceptable to the teacher. Gordy knew he should have stepped in when he did, but he was busy at work. Couldn't they see, it was just a little breakthrough, when Jane found out she could write the word poop... well, she wanted to learn how to spell other words. He knew Jane didn't mean to be bad, yet one bad word had made all the difference in her spelling vocabulary.

Yes, they had their own little problems, nothing major. Just growing pains, he guessed.

an awful reason

2011-02-06T01:58:00.033-06:00

"I'm just saying," Rosco said as if he was going to give Charlotte an ultimatum. "If you don't get on some sort of anti-depressant meds, then I am."

"What?" She looked at him there in the kitchen with her morning coffee. What was he expecting last night? Something oral? They had intercourse. "I don't know what you mean?" God, he wanted sex this morning. That was it. But she'd had been in such a deep sleep. Finally an hour before six, she'd had perfect sleep.

Well, he could be done with it in 7 minutes. Maybe 5. She knew how he worked. He'd come home at the oddest times from class and say he'd forgot something. They'd have a quicky and he'd be back in class in fifteen minutes.

"You..you have to do something." He told her.

"And? And, if I don't?" She was not going to be medicated. No, it might tear her a part from her creative side. She'd just ride it out. She'd had a lot of things to ride out. Like when her mother died. When her father left. She'd ride this out about Parker, too. But this was something, she felt was her own damn fault. That was something she couldn't erase.

"I'm just saying, I could-" he couldn't finish his thought.

She stared up at him. She hadn't forgotten how he'd been there for her. He was so much more than a boyfriend. They were practically married. He needed get through his studies at the technical center before the deal was sealed.

"I'm sorry." She apologized. She put down her coffee and reached for him then. "I'm really fine. I am. I honestly am." She'd just have to be more careful around him. Smile. God damnit, smile. She kept telling herself. She didn't know if she could take it..if he left her.

holding on

2011-02-02T01:46:00.026-06:00

"Nothing survives."

Rosco thought he heard Charlotte say while they were at Kal and Whitney's. They'd just had dinner. Charlotte was holding Kal's newest edition, Kaylie. Charolette looked drugged up. She sat there doe eyed as if she'd just came from shock treatments. He was a little uneasy about her holding the curly haired baby, but Whitney had wanted her to see how much the four month old had grown.

Rosco took the baby from her and held on to his niece. She kicked her little feet into his chest. But he didn't let it hold him back.

"So anyone, see anything good lately..at the movies." It was time to talk. About something.

"No." Kal and Whitney looked at each other. "I don't think I've seen a movie since Kaylie was born. That was months ago," Whitney said with her hands in her back pockets.

"I'm not really that big of fan, anyway." Kal shook his head. "I'd rather be at home. You know, I'm working on song writing."

"Great." Rosco kept smiling. "Play something for us."

Again, Kal and Whitney looked at each other.

"We're really not ready, just yet." Kal sighed.

"You two are writing, together?" Rosco grinned. This was fantastic to him.

"Well, kind of." Whitney shrugged. "But don't worry, I'm not leaving my day job."

"Me either." Kal scratched the back of his head.

Rosco looked back at Charlotte who looked as if she were in another world. Thank god, they weren't still living here, he thought then. He really didn't want to mess up this happy life of Whitney and Kal's. But he felt sad. So sad. He didn't know if he could stand anymore of this sadness of Charlotte's.

Mom is all right

2011-01-30T01:37:00.012-06:00

"How could you!" Emily screamed into her cell. She just couldn't settle down. Her father was back. At the house. Her mother's house. It wasn't his house anymore. It was the worse scenario ever.

"Well, she didn't tell him no." Bella told her.

Emily had just got the house in almost order. She was back to working at a salon nearby, every other day. It gave her time to volunteer on Fridays at the assistant living home. Perhaps it was frivolous to some, but it made her happy to make someone smile with a haircut. Sometimes, a makeup session too.

"You don't think...they aren't sleeping together, are they?" Emily couldn't help but ask.

"Of course not." Bella sounded offended that Emily would jump to that conclusion. "There are plenty of empty rooms in the house. He might be in the basement for all I know."

"You haven't gone back?" Emily knew her sister would be this way. Just her usual selfish self. She didn't care. She didn't care about their Mom in the least.

"I've been busy." Bella sighed.

"Fine." Emily guessed she'd do it. "I'll come home this weekend."

"But isn't another snow storm moving in?" Bella reminded her.

"Fine." Emily didn't know what else to say. This horrible winter was keeping her from being there to stop her father from doing anything he shouldn't be doing. Of course, she wasn't sure what that was, but Bella needed to find out. "You'll have to be my eyes and ears."

"Oh, God." Bella sighed. "Fine."

somethings missing

2011-01-27T01:08:00.003-06:00

The kids hated him. Bart was sure of it. Maybe Bella was coming around. There was Emily to think on, but he wouldn't. She was always a bit peculiar to him. She had a way of always being hurt when no one had done anything to her.

But this wasn't the time to dwell on it.

Kat didn't say, he couldn't stay. He looked around the place. Such odd memories surfaced. He had missed it. Of course, it was pretty much a mess when he left it. He hadn't taken care of the downstairs bathroom and Kat swore the ceiling was full of mold because of the roof. He wondered if she ever got that taken care of.

"Well, you get on home." He told Bella. He couldn't remember the names of her kids. He drew a blank. "Now where did your sister go? She doesn't have any kids, right?"

"No, dad." Bella gave a glare.

"She does?" He wouldn't be surprised. The way she'd always dressed, he thought she'd be pregnant by the time she was fifteen.

"She married Archie." Bella reminded him. "They moved to Omaha."

"Oh." Bart bit his bottom lip and gave a slight nod. He guessed he was a stranger to her. Nothing he could do about that now. At the moment, he wondered it the snow blower was in the garage. He really needed to do something about that driveway.

Bella soon packed her things and left. He went to the cold garage where he found the place rather organized. It surprised him. He guess this Parker was a saint of some kind. Of course, it hit a nerve that his ex-wife had hooked up with a 27 year old. She was old enough to be his mother.

He coughed then as if he needed to shake the thought of her with him. After all Parker was dead. And suddenly, he felt a bit invisible himself. All he could do now, was..keep moving.

Soon enough, he uncovered the snow plow. It started on the first try. It made him smile. That never happened. He was not good with this sort of thing. He was sure he couldn't even remember how to hold the machine steady, but after the first round, it was like getting back on a bike. There was just something manly about clearing the driveway of snow.

It would have been better if he'd had the boots for it. After while, his socks were wet, and he came in to the kitchen and took his wet shoes off and his socks too.

It was so quiet. A deep quiet. But then he heard the baby cry. It stung his heart. He missed it. He missed all of it. So much. He hurried up the stairs then and opened the door as if Kat wouldn't be quick enough to the baby, somehow.

Then he saw them together. She was breast feeding.

"Do you want something to eat." He whispered because he was sure she'd snap at him if he didn't.

"What do you have in mind?" Her question surprised him.

"I could make cheese toast." He shrugged. He really hadn't learned to cook on his own. He was actually a cereal man. Crackers too. He tried all sorts. He'd make special trips to the grocery store for those two items. Still liked Wheat Chex best.

She nodded.

"OK." He felt proud of himself for the suggestion so he went back to the kitchen. This was his first test, to see if he didn't burn down the place.

quietly you go

2011-01-24T00:11:00.000-06:00

It was still murky. Granted the weather wasn't helping much. Another snowfall. When were those snowplows coming around again?

Kat let the small things float around her instead of being reminded of the one thing that had been amputated from of her life. The life with someone else. Parker.

She was beginning to think she'd never breathe correctly, again. This harsh sorrow took her down when ever it wanted. But she kept popping up as if she could take the blow. Yet, she wasn't sure of that. Really.

Parker wanted to name the baby Zed, or Rufus. Something strange. Of course, she thought he was just teasing her for the most part. "Don't you let him be a Junior." His words made her smile and then her eyes would grow sad. He didn't mean that. She wanted to name him Parker Jr. But like he wanted ..she was stuck with Sam.

She didn't care. It didn't matter. He would be Parker. That was the only name for him, as far as she was concerned. And he was what got her by through the day. This was why she was here. But in two more weeks she'd be back to her job at the school. It was best to keep on going. Yet as the days grew thin, she didn't want to be anywhere but here, in her bedroom with the baby.

In those times, she did her best to think of her husband. How it was. Not how it happened. Not how she last saw him. That was not him. It was not. She had to forget that part. Why did everyone have to remind her the cause of his departure?

Her head ached from the tears and perhaps she would possibly dry up and float away. But then he'd awake her in the middle of the night. When she least expected it. Her husband was right here. He was still in her heart. He was. Oh, she believed it. But then he'd go away. It was like that. Coming in..like the morning light. Then fading quick like darkness. Just quietness. The long silence of life.

She held on to the sleeping infant now. She heard voices. It was just her daughter on her cell. Yes, Bella could hardly stand it, being here. Alone with her. She got that. Kat put the baby in the crib. She got back in bed and hugged her pillow. How much would she need of this restless rest before she got back on her feet?

A part of her drifted off to sleep.

But then she heard voices again. It wasn't just Bella. Someone else was here. It startled Kat as she wrestled with the covers and went to the stairway. She couldn't quite possibly place him. Could she?

She kept staring. There was nothing she could really say to him. And then he saw her, too. No smiles exchanged. It was Bart, her ex-husband.

"What are you doing here?" She came down the stairs with a new energy. The last time they'd spoken, he was furious with her. She'd stolen the house. Plain and simple. But he wasn't like that now. Just Bart.

"I-I heard." He nodded.

She nodded. He was not suppose to breathe a word of it.

"I-I was talking to B, here." He looked at Bella with a little grin.

"What?" She stood there on the stairway wondering what was going on.

"I told her she needed to go home. I'll stay. I'll stay with you." He was calm. Kat had nothing to say to him. There was nothing left between them. Yet, she hadn't the energy to fight him. Funny, that was what had kept the marriage going. The yelling for the most part. She didn't want to yell at him. She went back up the stairs and shut the door behind her.

the cold of winter

2011-01-20T02:50:00.035-06:00

Bella reached for her cell as soon as it buzzed. She was afraid it was Fish about the baby, but she should have expected it to be Emily.

She looked around the empty kitchen at her mother's. The place looked dead..or nobody lived here anymore. She looked out across the patio window and stared at the waves of snow drifts. Yes, winter was swallowing them up in so many ways.

"What is it?" She didn't need this. Her sister had only been gone a day.

"Hows Mom?" Emily asked.

Bella's head slowly ached of sleep and tiredness.

"Fine." She felt as if she were set on auto-pilot. At least her mom was sleeping some. Not a lot. But then there was the infant to take care of, and her Mom was trying to breastfeed.

"Don't give me that." They couldn't help but stay in this same mode, even if both swore they would not after what had happened. How they'd made a pack before Parker's funeral to be the best sisters they could be. Not just for their Mom but for themselves and all. It just wasn't easy.

"All right, as well as can be expected. She has Sam and..and, she's eating." Bella knew she was only eating because of the baby. But she could see how weak her mother really was. It was worse than a bad case of the flu. She had no idea if her mother would bounce back from this or not.

"Are you mad at me?" Emily wanted to know. She could tell her sister was crying.

"No. No, I'm not. You have a house to unpack. I'll keep you updated. I said I would." Suddenly, she felt like a secretary of some sort. No spy work would be involved. She'd try to keep the laundry done and maybe crochet a few hats, mean while. Something to keep her busy. She was taking a break from yoga classes, yet she really felt like getting in the floor this instance just to relax a bit.

If only she knew the right things to say to her mother, she would. It came to her now that she and her sister were just too much like their father. Always a blanket of silence. They could do that rather well.

I can't sleep..I can't speak

2011-01-16T01:26:00.029-06:00

Charlotte was in her own little war with herself, lately.

It didn't help that Rosco thought it would be a neat idea if they had their own apartment. And now they were paying for it.

It was no more than a motel room. A tight space. No room for a dining area, just a breakfast bar, which they didn't have chairs for. And after his computer and her computer took up one full space in the livingroom and a wall of books, well..there was no space for a couch. They couldn't invite anyone over. Not that Charlotte minded, but she felt she was confined to a closet and after the incident at the library, well, she could hardly breathe. Perhaps, it was the panic attacks.

She could see it play over and over in her head. If Parker hadn't sent her to the back..she knew those two bullets were meant for her..not him. It swallowed her up in emotion, still. Everytime she thought about it, it as if everything felt not quite real. It was all her fault. It was true. All her fault.

That guy had it in for her because she wouldn't go out with him. She wouldn't talk to him. She avoided him like a sad illness after he'd cornered, not once but a couple of times, wanting her to be with him. It was so annoying. He was an old man. He'd be so nice, then he turned ugly when she didn't like the movies he wanted her to watch. Didn't see politics like she did. He was troubled. She'd tried to tell co-workers what she up against. And now it had gone crazy. Completely crazy.

She jerked herself up from her pillow, and shook the thought of what she remembered. There were thoughts running through her head, that the shooter had missed and she didn't find Parker in a pool of his own blood.

She wanted him to say some last words to her. Did he? Could she not figure it out?

Her chest tightened, thinking how awful it was. The library stayed closed for three days. It had never done that. Nothing like that had ever happened.

But the carpet was clean now. You'd never know anything bad had ever happened. The last moments of someone's life had been spilled on that carpet, and they couldn't even make a shrine of it. Charlotte felt the tears melt down her face.

Yes, she'd called 911 just like he said. She did what she was told. Her eyes burned now, knowing that wasn't enough. It wasn't enough for Parker.

change of plans

2011-01-13T14:55:00.001-06:00

"What are you saying? You want to move home?" Archie couldn't help but be a little disgruntled. This was his home, afterall. And yes, it was the dead of winter in Omaha, but here they were. It was his, and he got he better job than he had. Emily wanted to move then.

He watched her in the kitchen just staring at boxes as if she were a million miles away.

"No." She winced. "I'm not saying that...I'm just saying, maybe this was not a great time for me to leave my Mom. Alone with the baby."

"But she has Bella." Archie shrugged. He thought Emily was OK with that. Bella was really getting better with the whole family thing. They'd gotten closer the last few months. Even Emily was surprised.

Of course, neither of them could breathe a word about Parker. It was still a word that killed there soul a bit when they said it.

"I'm really sorry when we had to leave." He sighed now. Maybe he should had done this alone. Let her stay with her mother as long as she wanted. But even there he knew Emily felt distant and didn't know what to say or do. "They needed me here, and well, you know..." What did she want him to say. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

"Its OK." She closed her eyes. But she wasn't moving. It was as if she were frozen in time. It was an awful thing to rehash what had happened to Parker out of the blue. It still didn't seem real.

Archie hugged her then. Emily had changed so much since he'd first met her. She was more than just a hairdresser now. She worked at the assisted living place every Friday doing everyone's hair. Why did she worry that her mother didn't think she cared enough. He knew she did.

But things had moved on. Even if that moment had stood still ...when a patron drew the gun and shot Parker at close range, twice. It had changed everything for everyone in the family.

Derrick

2010-07-28T23:38:00.001-05:00

Who wouldn't want Derrick? He's got it all. Lives in the city, has a record company up and running with his brother, got the look.
He's in to tattoos, piercings, all night parties, roadtrips and very indie rock bands.
But Crystal may like him more than Emily does. Crystal can be rather aloof and fickle, sometimes. Only, Derrick really doesn't even know about Emily. This might cause alarm once he figures it out, but as of yet he hasn't.
Emily has just been playing along. Its a pretty good gig in a way. But really is it as much fun as she thinks it is or is she just punishing herself instead.
Finally, Derrick let Emily/Crystal go once he figured out she was a bit mental. Now he's hooked up with Carrie. Married and have their bands going. Some of the time together. Some of the time not. And he might have his eye on somebody new this summer.

thats how it is

2010-04-23T12:43:00.005-05:00

Parker could see this was all taking a toll on Kat.

"I hate being the No Police here. But you do so much already. Can't one of the girls go out and see her, or something?" Parker tried to be understanding as he tried his best to get Kat to relax. "You can't be there for everything."

"I know. I know." She might have said the words, but he didn't think she could understand. The next best thing, SKYPE.

So he talked to Kat's sister and thankfully, they allowed it in the hospital room.

"See, we can do this. I know it might not be the same, but you can at least see her on the screen." Parker got it all set up in the kitchen. Kat's favorite room in the house.

She just looked at him as if her hair needed to be fixed, or her makeup was all wrong. "It doesn't matter," her promised. Just talk to her.

So Kat sat down at the kitchen table and looked into the laptop. Naturally, she could see her mother thought they were crazy.

"Who does this kind of stuff!" She kept looking at Kat's sister.

Kat had to be all smiles and cheerful. "Hi, Mom!"

"Who said that!" Her Mom looked wild eyed at her. It took a while for her mom to get the jest of of it. But her mother was her natural self, ready for a smoke or at least a good dry wine, which they wouldn't let her have in the hospital.

Kat told her about the baby.

"We're having a baby boy?" Kat shouted.

But her mother was mixed up. She thought she was talking about a great grandchild. So Kat had to explain how Bella had had her baby and Emily wasn't going to have a baby. "Its me, Mom. Kat. I'm the one having the baby."

"How did that happen?" Her Mom was in shock.

Kat just laughed. Parker smiled and waved into the camera then.

"Its all my fault." He told Kat's mother. Of course, the old woman just looked into the camera as if they both must be pulling a prank on her.

just another knot in the family

2010-04-10T12:02:00.002-05:00

Kat was pretty upset when she heard from her sister about her mother.

"She's sick." That was all anyone seemed to know.

They were going to have to go to South Dakota to find her.

"What is she doing out there?" Kat didn't understand it. It was like having to find one of her daughters who weren't teens anymore. They had husbands and lives of their own.

"She was staying with an old friend of Dad's."

"An old friend?" Kat rolled her eyes. She had to tell her hubby about this. Naturally, he put his foot down.

"No, you're not going. " He told her. It made her want to go all the more. "Look we're having a baby, and you know you're at high risk. " He was being the grownup in all this. So she had to call her sister back.

"I can't do it."

Her sister didn't ask her why.

"Will you be all right?" Kat hated to see her sister alone.

"Yeah, I'll be just fine." But her sister sounded not amused.

"I'm sorry. Really." Kat felt caught in the middle. Why did her mother have a way of making her feel so miserable and not even know it.

in the peace of it

2010-03-20T20:48:00.003-05:00

Charlotte was beat after what felt like moving mountains out of the basement. It looked naked now and no where near what she thought of, as a home.

"Are we done yet?" She wanted to curl up on the couch and go to sleep. The fact remained, she'd never gained all her energy back from her episode of Mono. Maybe she went back to work too soon or the fact that she never really rested. There was so much to do with work, at home and an online class. Thankfully, it was only one class.

"We're just getting started, don't you know that." Rosco fell next to her on the cough and put his arm around her. "We need to paint now."

"When?"

"Dunno. Soon." He shrugged.

"Like tonight?" She looked up at him noticing he was just getting a little tubby. Probably a good case of cabin fever. It had been quite dreadful this winter. All the snow and cold. She wasn't going to mention it. He was her teddy bear, after all. But still she thought they both needed to get in more exercise. Right now, they'd had enough.

"No." He yawned. "Of course, not."

She yawned too.

She put her head on his chest, and he smelled of the slightly damp basement and sweat. "Did, you know who, ever have her baby?"

"Who hasn't had their baby?" He looked at her puzzled.

"You know, who. You're friend who looks like Jay from Silent Bob-"

"Beats me, I don't keep track of stuff like that." He hugged her close. After all, he was going to college full time now. No late nights at the grocery store or anything.

Charlotte nodded. They were on a rubber-band budget. She was thankful that his Mom let them stay here.

"Do you even think she'd let us paint?" At least the walls were white. They could live with that. Charlotte didn't want to ask for anything else.

"She said she wanted me too." Rosco told her.

"Like what? Not yellow."

"Maybe."

Charlotte scowled. Maybe she was depressed. All this was depressing. Getting by. And of course, she knew how lucky she was, and it was nothing like being happy to sweep out your little hut in a far off land. She wanted to be happy about this. She did. But time was marching on. Rosco didn't look a bit like that boy she remembered meeting the first time at a Thanksgiving she didn't even know she was going too. There were shadows under her eyes. She and Rosco would never be a picture in a magazine. This was the real world.

But his kiss was alive, and it made her smile. And she couldn't help but still want to be with him to do all these little things. To the naked eye, it was nothing, but when she looked into his face, it was so much more. So much to take in his warmth from the light hairs on his strong forearms and steady hands to get ready for the next thing to do. Get the bed set up so they could sleep.

this modern love

2010-03-13T08:25:00.004-06:00

Was it March, already?

Whitney couldn't decide if time was going slowly or quickly. Well, as far as the pregnancy was progressing. She was finally showing.

Funny, her mother-in-law was a bit testy. Whitney had to listen to her stories how she never showed with Kal.

"Well, I was younger then." His mother had told her. "Younger than you."

Naturally, Whitney couldn't quite grasp just what Kal's mom was getting at.

"Does she think I'm fat?" Whitney must have had this conversation a dozen times with Kal. Possibly, to the point he was sick of having the conversation.

"Look, its not about you, anymore." Kal had finally had enough. "OK, what I'm trying to say. It depends a lot on you..about the baby, but you take care of yourself which means, taking care of the baby. And you are doing everything right. You don't smoke. No caffeine. You exercise. You look great."

Of course, she knew what he worried about. Money.

"Well, I'm just-" Whitney felt his Mom was worrying her for nothing. "Why is she doing this to me? Its not like I have my family coming over to visit, you know."

"All right, I'll talk to her." Kal acted as if that was all he could do. "She does care about you. She does."

Whitney supposed so and perhaps it was all about being alone in this. All this times she felt as if she'd taken her life out on a limb. A high cliff, perhaps, but she could always keep going higher no matter what because she had found love and a part of her felt invincible until now.

Now, she was seeing she wasn't nearly as happy as she should have been. And it was all starting to irritate her. That she had done something wrong. Even so, if she'd never left the village back home, she knew she'd be just as stuck. But with someone her parents would have been happy with. It was far more old fashioned than anyone would like to believe. She had to keep remembering how miserable she'd be if she were there instead of here. Only, it didn't do much good. She wanted her mother. Not Kal's mom.

It felt like an ocean of misery swallowing her up. Wasn't like she could catch the next flight out and be there at her mum's door-step.

"You should talk to her." It was the only comfort Charlotte could give her.

"I'm just being a baby about this." Whitney knew she had to snap out of it. "She'll yell at me for not calling." Whitney cringed at the thought of her mother's high pitched voice.

"Well, you won't know unless you try." Charlotte just smiled.

Whitney was crying before she ever dialed her mum's number just to find that it had been disconnected. This of course, left her at the kitchen table in more tears. She'd waited too late. She just knew. But Charlotte asked for her to say the number aloud and punched in the numbers for her. At last, the phone call went through.

And when she heard her mother's voice, Whitney melted as if she might be the most ungrateful daughter in the world. It was a relief even if her mother jabbered about so many people Whitney didn't even know. It was good too to hear her own mother's stories of when she was pregnant with Whitney.

"You know, my water broke on the bus." She told her. She'd been a maid at some prominent folk's place. She'd left at five in the evening when she always did, and she had no way of calling her father when it happened. But she'd politely ridden the bus all the way to the hospital, as if she might need a trip to the shops. "I had you in my arms in less than an hour."

Whitney smiled. She made it sound so painless. Maybe everything was better in her life than she really knew.

a world within a world

2010-02-27T09:14:00.004-06:00

Gordy had a son. Well, he would have been just as happy with a girl, but here they had a son and nothing male, what so ever, to put him in. Even the overalls were pink in these parts. Rachel hadn't been sweet or nice enough with the ladies at the library to be showered with an all boy shower.

He didn't know what the deal was exactly with her. As it was, it wasn't about her, at all. It was about a boy. Their boy.

Naturally, Gloria, his father's girlfriend brought a basket of diapers. She wanted them to be good to the earth (Rachel snarled up at that who only wanted Huggies). People his mother worked with brought gifts too. Then Serena and Floyd took over with the food. There were cupcakes and casseroles. Something for anyone who dropped in the next week.

But of course, Whitney and Charlotte were waiting there for Rachel when she got home. Of course, she gave them all a look that she didn't want anyone to see her in this condition.

"You're still upset with the name, aren't you?" That was the only thing on his mind. She didn't like it. He didn't want to be in an uproar about this. Not now. Not after the long hours he'd been through already, just to stay awake more to take care of the baby while she slept.

"Can you quit talking about it." She promised she'd get used to it.

"Well, what sort of name did you want for our son?" Gordy was confused. She didn't give him any hints at the time of the name calling. And for months he'd mention names like Caleb.Tyler. Pierce. Chad. Brad. Roman. Dakota. There would be no Juniors or Seconds. Gordy had taken his mother's last name after all. Nothing. Just nothing.

Of course, Jane and Lucy liked Barney. They loved Barney from HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER. Rachel hated that name because she said it made her think of Barney Fife from the ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW. No Barney at there house.

"Couldn't it be something simple like, Ben." Rachel finally let slip after the presents and the food and all the oohs and awes over a baby that almost weighed nine pounds and was twenty-three inches long. This fact lead to a heavy discussion from Whitney who thought Rachel might have been diabetic. Naturally, one more thing that didn't set well with Rachel.

But back to Ben being the better name.

"Well, of course not." Gordy grinned. "Grady is a great name."

in the dulldrums

2010-02-20T08:32:00.002-06:00

Charlotte did her best to get as much done at work as she could. So many books coming in that needed to be catalogued. Usually, Rachel's job was to catalogue the hard backs, and Charlotte took care of the short records for the paperbacks. Processing them, as well, in the morning. Her afternoons were for circulation and programs. Not that there were many going on at the moment. Other than the Hunger Games book club and a poetry slam once a month. But she'd started an impromptu Fan Fiction Creative club, since that was what a few wanted. This meant they got to show off their artwork for the most part. Thus this lead to the bookmarker competition. Hopefully, they'd have a zine ready by May.

Usually, Charlotte had no idea what she was really doing until she was in the middle of it. But she'd wake up from work ever so often just to wonder if Rachel was still in labor. Charlotte would cringe, thinking of the pain she was in. She was going to be extra nice to her after all this.

"How long do think she'll be out?" Charlotte asked Parker in the breakroom.

"She gets her 6 weeks." Parker shrugged who was looking over the left over Valentine candy, but grabbed an orange from the fridge to peel.

"Are you going to take off 6 weeks when the baby comes?" She looked at him who sat at the break table and peeled the orange.

"I'd like to, but I doubt it. I guess we'll see how it goes." He told her and handed her a couple of orange wedges.

"Rachel looked really bad." Charlotte winced. She had to wonder if Rachel would ever want to come back.

"I take it, you might never want any kids now, after seeing Rachel." He grinned.

"I dunno if I'm strong enough. Rachel, she's like an ox, you know." Charlotte grimaced.

"I'll tell her you said that," Parker laughed.

"No, I mean, she could pull this off. She doesn't care what she looks like or what she says during any of it. I'd be a wimp. Really, I would." Charlotte looked as if she might be sick. Suddenly, felt the only way to get through this was to be sick with Rachel. The orange felt funny in her mouth. She needed to throw up.

blissful thinking

2010-02-15T09:48:00.006-06:00

Rachel had had a change of heart. She supposed. Perhaps it had to do with the false alarm that definitely didn't feel like one with her. The baby was coming. Soon.

"I want you to talk to that minster who keeps bugging me at the library all the time." She looked at Gordy as if it might be the last real thing he ever did for her before the baby came.

"What are you talking about?" Gordy didn't know that anyone was bugging her.

"This woman." Rachel felt drained, as if a vampire had had his way with her, and she wasn't sure if she could go on much longer. She handed him a business card. It was the only one she had like it. No way, was she going to ask the minister who had married her before to marry her again. It would just be bad luck. At the moment, she needed all the luck she could get.

Her back was sore. And she was waiting any second for it to start up again. The contractions.

So Gordy did as she asked and of course, the minister thought that Rachel might need some womanly advice. That sort of visit. Gordy was on the phone with her an awful long time.

"Is she coming?" Rachel squinted.

"Do you realise you're in my pajamas." Gordy looked at her.

"I'm comfortable." She shrugged.

"Look, the Reverend thinks you're scared. We can talk about what we want and decide a date and everything."

"I don't want too." Rachel shook her head. "I want to do this right now." She was certain.

"But what about your Mom. And that cousin of yours in Florida and well, Charlotte will want to be here and so will Rosco. What about my Dad?" Gordy looked at her puzzled. There was just no way they could have a wedding today. It was Presidents Day.

"I don't give a shit about any of them." Rachel wavered to the couch then as if she might go to sleep on her side. "We have our wedding license."

"Yeah, so we're good as a done deal, you know." Gordy smiled as if it was all right.

"No, no I want to do this. Now." Her eyes fluttered then as she thought she might snooze.

Gordy shook his head. The girls were in the with his Mom making breakfast. He went to talk to his mother. Rachel heard the kitchen chairs scrape across the old wooden floor then. Feet moving. Little feet coming to investigate then hurrying away.

Next thing she knew Jane and Lucy were in their pink tutus with the little angel wings they wore for dress up. Rachel squinted. "What are you doing?" She might have been dreaming.

"We're going to dance at your wedding." Jane informed her. As it was, neither had had a lesson in their life.

Rachel doubted she was dreaming now. She didn't move though. The doorbell rang, and it was Charlotte and Rosco. Kal and Whitney had came too.

"Come on, we've got to get you dressed." Gordy got her up. He had her favorite maternity dress which was a red velveteen baby doll dress. White thigh highs too and her favorite black flats. He started helping her out of the bottoms to put on the socks even if everyone was there. Rachel looked at them as if she didn't care. No way was she getting into a bra now. She gave them a big yawn. Charlotte tried to brush her hair, but she wouldn't have it.

Finally, everyone went to the kitchen as Gordy started to unbutton the plaid top.

"I dunno why you wouldn't do this months ago." Gordy sighed. He was in his jeans and a dark V neck T with his dark cordory blazer on. She just looked down at his back high tops. Hadn't he worn the same outfit to prom once?

"Because, I'm not in a hurry." She sighed.

"Yes, you are." He smiled.

"I might not ever have this kid." Rachel blinked. "Maybe it'll happen once we do this."

Gordy just nodded, not even questioning her logic.

She stood in her spot while everyone gathered around. Finally, the minister arrived. As soon as Rachel saw her, the contractions began right on cue. But she could do this marriage thing. She could.

in these trying times

2010-02-12T01:04:00.004-06:00

Emily and Bella had decided to help Charlotte on her little quest for an engagement ring. They went to thrift shops for starters in another town so it wouldn't exactly get back where they'd really found a gem of sorts.

"This should be fun." Emily smiled as if she could be Charlotte's real friend now. Naturally, her sister was looking for baby clothes instead, which was fine with her. More time she could just spend with Charlotte on this venture.

"Look, at these really old rings." They looked a little creepy to her, wondering if they'd been removed off dead fingers, or something. "I wonder what the stories are behind these."

"Probably divorce." Charlotte winced more as she looked.

"Don't be depressing." Emily didn't want to think of that. "Do you need glasses?" Emily looked at Charlotte.

"I don't think so." Charlotte shrugged.

"You should get glasses or contacts or something." Emily said matter of fact like.

"Oh look," Charlotte found one, it was silver, and it looked like a dark corset with flicks of diamonds inlaid in it. She smiled, then asked to see it. "Oh, my God! I love it, and it fits!"

"That's more of a wedding band." Emily crossed her arms.

"Who cares, I want it!" Charlotte gave her a toothy grin. She laid down the three twenties she had. Didn't get but a nickle back.

"You think that's really going to ward off stalkers at the library?" Emily asked as they found Bella on the way out.

"Yes." Charlotte sounded so certain as she wore the ring proudly.

Emily just shook her head. She was thankful she'd moved on from Rosco. So thankful.

the endangered species

2010-02-08T03:51:00.003-06:00

"I thought you two were already engaged?" Gordy looked at Rosco who made himself right at home on the counter in his mother's kitchen. It still didn't feel quite like his kitchen even if the girls had taken over and put their artwork all over the fridge. At the moment, his Mom had taken them to the zoo.

"Well, I guess so." Rosco winced. He was eating a pop-tart.

"I'm not one to ask about this stuff. I guess." Gordy was finishing up the dishes. "I'm not to swift with this marriage game. As you can tell."

Rosco just shrugged while he ate.

"This college dude was hitting on her, and somebody at work said he never would have, if she'd had on a ring, you know." Rosco smirked.

"I don't think you're serious about this." Gordy looked at him.

"Yes, I am."

"Then find something specatular and do it. Prepose. Go for it." Gordy glared, telling him all the things he wished he'd do.

"Do you think you two will be actually married before the baby comes?" Rosco asked him.

"I doubt it, the way things are going. Might as well be a slow boat to China." Gordy shrugged drying the last dish.

"But why?"

"Because, Rachel keeps changing her mind, thats why. One minute its, do this tomorrow, and then she wants to get down to size 4 again before it can happen. And, I don't want to burst her bubble, but she's never been a size 4 so it might never happen." Gordy gritted.

"Wow, size 4, just how small is that?" Rosco winced with a laugh.

"I don't know. I don't want to know. I want her to grow up. I want her to, well, she's Rachel. What can I say. I love her, I hate some of the things she does. I am trying here, I really am."

"Well, so am I." Rosco hopped off the counter, cleaned his hands. "I don't think anyone is going to give me a loan."

"You'll find a way. You always do." Gordy gave him a squeeze on the shoulder.

which comes first

2010-02-06T03:34:00.004-06:00

"Are you serious?" Rosco looked at Charlotte as if she was just being wishy-washy with him. First they were, then they weren't.

"Don't talk me out of it." She informed him.

Kal had given Whitney his Mom's engagement ring. It just wasn't fair. Rosco was beginning to think.

"It doesn't have to be real. Just temporary. That's all." Rosco knew things could be worse. They could be having a baby right now. That wasn't the worst, but well, he didn't want to bring that up.

"Well, you know, how its going to be." Rosco sighed as he sat there on the couch in his mother's livingroom with Charlotte. "We might be here and awful long time."

"That's not so bad. I like being here. Its home." She promised.

"OK, I know. I wouldn't want to be anywhere, else either. Mom, keeps talking about moving to Vegas. So then. You know, Kal and Whitney would get dibs on her room. Then we could have Kal's room, cause it is bigger." Which meant a bigger bed. "My room would be the nursery then."

"You'd think this house would be bigger, you know that?" Charlotte looked around. He knew she wasn't complaining but perhaps thinking of a secret room no one had uncovered.

"The basement." Rosco smiled. Why hadn't he thought of it sooner. He smiled all over. Of course, it was mostly crap down there that his Mom had never thrown away. Old stuff they never used. Why didn't they clean out the basement?

"We're suppose to be thinking about an engagement ring, Rosco?" She reminded him.

"I know, we'll get one. We will." First things first. But which was first? The ring or basement.

something silly like that

2010-02-03T02:25:00.002-06:00

It would happen any day now. Any day. Rachel was about to pop. Then she'd be out 6 weeks tops, and Charlotte would be on her own at the library.

"You can do it." Parker had confidence in her. Of course, after yesterday. She wasn't so sure.

This very unusual college guy had followed her around for 4 hours. If only she hadn't told him not to go into the staff bathroom. If only. But no, it was freaky. Just strange. For the first time, she realised how freaked out one of those pop stars might be about fame. Sort of. Not that he was taking pictures of her. He was just there.

"I'm thinking he needs to put a ring on your finger, just like Biancee says." One of the clerks cornered her.

"What?" Did she think she liked this guy who stuck to her like glue.

"I mean, Ros, this boy who brings you lunch and dinner, sometimes. You see an awful lot of him." The clerk gave her a grin.

"Well, I live with him. He is my boyfriend." Which is exactly what she told this miserable guy who had practically been her lap dog.

"That's not good enough. He'll have to do something about that." The middle aged woman laughed.

Charlotte just winced. Just when she'd felt so grownup about everything in her life, she felt as if she hadn't done anything with it as of yet. She couldn't think of herself being married. But still, it was like that. An awful lot like that. She couldn't see herself with anyone else. She couldn't bare the thought of dating in this world now. Meeting someone new. Speed dating. Bad dates who spilled drinks on you. Questioned your every move.

Well, she was just going to do something about it. She was. Possibly, it might start with a fake engagement ring.

way back then

2010-01-31T01:04:00.004-06:00

"How's married life?" Emily's Mom wanted to know. They were in the kitchen, and it was the first time Emily really noticed it was happening. Her Mom was going to have a baby. Sure, she knew, but it didn't seem quite real until now, and Emily couldn't stop staring at the baby bump...thinking she'd have a sister or a brother .... soon.

"Great. Just great." Emily sounded indifferent though.

"What's wrong?" Her mother set down a tray of shortbread cookies.

"Nothing."

"Its something."

"No, no really, I'm fine. We're doing great, even if I don't sleep all that well." She looked up at her mother's eyes then.

"Why is that?"

"He moves too much." She winced. "He flaunders like a fish, actually. And he laughes in bed. Then he gets all huggy and touchy. God, he'll want to do it in the middle of the night."

"Well, have you?"

"Mom!" She was appauled by that question. She wouldn't dare admit thats when it was at its best. Her Mom didn't need to know that.

Her mom just smiled.

"So what are you having?" She sounded like it might be dinner instead of the sex of the baby.

"A boy." Her mom told her.

"I'm having a brother? Are you kidding me?" Emily squinted.

"I wouldn't kid you. Parker's pretty proud of the fact." Her mom nodded.

"God, I'm finally getting a brother." Emily smiled. "Do you know how long I've wanted a brother?"

"You've never said." Her mother shrugged.

"Since I was like five. Except, I was wanting one that was Asian or black or something, back then. I thought it would be cool if he was nothing like me. Well, I was only five." Emily confessed. She bit into a cookie then. Emily sighed. Really, she was so sleepy. She needed rest. Where had all her energy gone?

a little to the left..maybe some to the right

2010-01-28T03:53:00.003-06:00

Bella had really surprised Whitney with her ambition. Whitney, didn't want to think of herself jealous of her, but she was, kind of.

"Maybe, I should be doing something else." She pointed out to Kal after dinner one night when they were putting the dishes away.

"Come on, are you kidding me? They love you at the insurance place. And besides, you're actually doing what you went to school to do, aren't you?" Kal was being Mr. Positive, and she knew this would definitely be the wrong time to make a career move. After all, they were saving up, wanting to be on their own which she thought would never happen. Never.

"I dunno." Maybe it was all part of being pregnant. All this indecisiveness, pondering and the fright of what was to come.

"Look, you have this job, you need this job." Kal sighed. She could sense that he thought she was putting pressure on him now. She knew it was hard for him. Still. So much stress with not just one child to support, but their child, too.

"I'm sorry, I was just thinking, you know." She didn't even want to say what if. "Its not like I'm upset about work or anything. I just have to wonder if their might be something more satisfying."

"Well, work is work," he said it and it sounded so sad. She knew he wanted to have a passion about what he did, but he didn't. There was no passion. But he was part of the team now that really had nothing to do with playing in a band even if it was at recording company.

She kissed him on the cheek then as if she alone was still his cheerleader, and he needed cheering on. But a little of her wished he'd be there for a little more positive reinforcement.

mind.body.and soul

2010-01-24T02:12:00.005-06:00

Bella found her passion. Finally.

It had taken awhile to get back in the swing of things. The fear of going out with two babies in the snow or actually anytime for that matter had gotten the best of Bella for so long. But she started going to Wal-greens first. Just in case, Gordy would have to drive them back. Then she ventured out to join the La Leche League so she could at least meet other mommies, and Gib could make friends.

Of course, she didn't buy completely into the La Leche League mantra. Sure, she wanted to breastfeed for a while, but be diligent in weening them at the appropriate time. No way was she going to let a three year old still be latched on to her, and she knew Fish wouldn't go for the family bed, either.

But it was there that she started yoga with the other mothers as sort of an ice breaker or something to do right before the question and answer session. She showed them how to do yoga with their baby. It was the highlight of her week. Yes, they enjoyed it so much they started meeting once a week. She loved it that they wanted to know the joys of yoga from her. It was so satisfying that she started looking online about how to become a certified instructor.

"Are you sure about this?" Fish almost laughed at her when she brought it up one night at dinner.

"Yeah, I am. I'm really serious." She told him.

"You know how serious you were about the crocheted baby hats, and you made Whitney do all that work for you. You know how that paid off?" He reminded her.

"But it was you who taught me yoga to begin with ,and then I went to those complimentary classes when we lived at the mall back in Austin. I-I haven't forgotten that." She smiled as if it might have been better than sex. Well, might have been.

"OK, that was my fault. I just wanted you to relax, you know." He shrugged.

"And I love yoga. I do, and then, well, Jazz and Kayla both think I should go for it, down at the La Leche League." She told him.

"Isn't that just about breastfeeding?" Fish remembered.

"We've been branching out. They let us have the large meeting room down at the library once a week now. Its a great place for yoga." She explained. "And, and they think I should get paid. I mean, at first I was like, are you kidding me." Bella went to get at envelope out of the kitchen drawer then. She had over 500 bucks in twenty dollar bills.

"Wow." Fish looked through the money.

"I thought about asking dad for the money for the 500 hour course down at the University, but I'm gonna save up." She told him.

"If you really want to go, I'm sure we can find a way, you know." Fish told her.

"It'll be weekends. Weekend trainings." She'd looked at the schedule online. "You'd have to watch the kids."

"Yeah, I could do that." He nodded.

Bella smiled, biting her bottom lip. Perhaps she had found her calling. It was something she couldn't help but smile about.

just do it

2010-01-18T08:39:00.005-06:00

"Promise me, you'll just enjoy being married and you know, being a wife." Rachel found herself saying to Charlotte as they were cleaning up the craft room at the library after one of Charlotte's spectacular cupcake rescue missions.

"What are you talking about?" Charlotte almost laughed.

"I have mixed feelings about marriage." Rachel confessed. "My mom was horrible at it, and I always said I'd never be like that, but I am. Really, I am. I tried so hard with Andy, and well, it didn't work out."

"Why are you thinking about Andy now?" Charlotte licked strawberry icing from her fingertips.

"Because, he's back. He got hurt." Rachel told her.

"Oh my God, what happened!" It was the first Charlotte heard of it.

"Its not that bad. He didn't lose an arm or leg. Its just a back problem. I think it happened state side when he was Fort Drum. Slipped on ice, well, at least that's what he said." Rachel wondered if that was the truth. He always had a way of telling her things she wanted to hear.

"But you know we're getting married," Rachel suddenly said.

"OK, I kind of lost you, you and Gordy, right? Andy's just back." Charlotte was getting it straight. Time and time again, she'd tell Rachel it took three librarians to decide if a light bulb needed to be changed around here. People, would have to say things around here as if you were suppose to know everything.

"God, where have you been?" Rachel snapped.

"Sorry, I am taking online classes." Charlotte glared back at her.

"What, I'm telling you, you and Rosco should just get married and not have any kids for the next five years." Rachel informed her.

"OK." Charlotte nodded.

"You have to look at it as an adventure." Rachel told her. "Forget that old fashioned stuff about being his servant and crap, that's so yesterday. You just have to, you know, have fun. Do fun things."

Charlotte sort of giggled, but then she straightened her smile when Rachel looked up at her.

"I'm not kidding." Rachel stared at her as if this was important.

"I know. Its just, am I being unfair to him, with all my problems." Charlotte closed her eyes as if was to sad to explain.

"What problems?"

"You know, not having a home and all. I feel he's my only family." She shrugged.

"Precisely, why you should get married." Rachel shot her a look.

"Well, you get married first and then, you know, it might happen. It doesn't work out." Charlotte shrugged as she went on to sort sprinkles they should keep and get rid of.

Rachel just sighed. Really, she was better at talking about this stuff than doing it. Honestly, she definitely had to work on this housewife stuff.

as it thaws

2010-01-14T08:20:00.003-06:00

"Wow, you've got a lot going on." Rosco shrugged as he help Gordy squeeze another box into Rosco's weathered car. The sun was out and it almost felt warm. Except for the winds coming over the huge snowbanks that hid the street.

"Yeap." By the looks of it, Rosco could see Gordy thought he'd lose it, but he knew he wouldn't.

"You'll see, its all gonna work out. You'll be just down the street now." Rosco smiled thinking of all the possibilities of having his brother around. Of course, the one he lived with, he hardly ever saw and seldom did anything with, but Gordy was different.

"I'm glad you think so," Gordy almost smiled. Almost. "You just don't have to put up with Rachel and how it'll be with my Mom."

"Oh. yeah," Rosco nodded with a squint. "Your Mom's cool."

"I forgot about that. You use to live there." Gordy went to get another box then. They couldn't hold too much more. And they had to get as much as they could do in the thaw of the afternoon. It would ice over, again, by nightfall. The snowfall hadn't been this heavy in decades.

"Well, I never her really saw her much. But she's, you know, cool." Rosco shrugged.

"Yeah, she sounds set on going on a cruise in March, I think. She wanted to sooner, but we gotta get married. And they can only squeeze us in February down at the courthouse."

"You sound like its a chore?" Rosco looked at him.

"Well, if we get this done before the baby gets here, it'll be kind of like a miracle, I guess." Gordy sighed as he closed the last of it in the trunk.

"You know we're a lazy bunch and take great pride in our procrastination." Rosco gave his brother a pat on the back then.

"Right." Gordy looked at him. "I hear you're taking some freebie course in how to update the bathroom down at Home Depot."

"Yeah, Saturday afternoons." Rosco crossed his arms.

"So, you gonna actually update the bathroom at your house?" Gordy looked at Rosco, seriously, as if he might know something about fixing things that he didn't.

"Not if I can help it." Rosco hugged himself. "Well, until Mom makes me."

around the corner

2010-01-07T09:16:00.004-06:00

It had started with the car. Finding something big enough for all of them.

"I'd really think about getting a four wheel drive, if I were you." Gordy's mother advised. "The winters just seem to be getting worse and worse, or maybe its the city not caring about the streets, anymore. Either way, you'll need something that can get the whole family around. Especially, in the winter."

She made a lot of sense. He knew that. He was glad she went with him to the dealership. But the more they talked, he could see that she noticed he was worried about more than the car.

"Well, you'll just have to move back home, won't you?" She shrugged.

"I dunno, Mom. You know how you got when it was just Jane. There will Lucy and Rachel. Then the new baby." Gordy shook his head.

"I'll move to the basement." She looked at him as if it wouldn't be a problem. "The rate I'm going with the post office, I might just retire. Then, you'll have the house all to yourself. How about that?"

"Mom." Gordy winced. "I don't want to put you out. Its just this degree is taking a lot longer, you know."

"And some things come a lot sooner, too." She was talking about the baby.

"Yeah, they do." He looked at her thinking she must still feel the same way about him that she always did. He was never going to make anything of himself. Time and time again she'd always told him he had the brain, but he just didn't want to use it.

"It'll work out. You'll see." She was so somber now as if she had softened some how, even if the postal job had hardened her over the years. "You'll move in. I just think its time you got married."

Gordy looked at her as if he couldn't believe she said that. She'd never gotten married. She had always been his Mom though. Really, she wasn't like other Moms with boyfriends and angst problems. She'd been a solo act with his grandfather to help.

"You make a great dad, now its time to be a good husband, too." She gave him a look that she'd be out of his hair soon enough.

Gordy just nodded.

It was time to test drive some cars then. Gordy almost smiled. Even if his Mom was taking it easy on him, really, it was quite an uphill battle still. So many women in his life. Still. Well, he wasn't going to let Rachel have a fit about this. It was time he did the right thing. She'd just have to listen to him for a change.

somewhere along the way

2010-01-03T01:13:00.003-06:00

"I dunno what to make of him anymore." Charlotte said about Rosco while she was with Whitney out at the mall. It had to be one of the coldest days of the year and here they were eating ice cream.

"I haven't noticed." Whitney shrugged as she licked at her vanilla soft serve.

"He's just different." Charlotte squinted as if she woke up with someone else this morning.

"Can't be, he's Rosco. Sweet dear Rosco." Whitney smiled.

"Its freaky, sort of. You know, how late he stays up on his computer with those games. He loses all this weight, now he's gaining it back." Charlotte frowned.

"Its winter."

She eyed the window at American Outfitters.

"I think needs a new wardrobe, don't you? I can't get him out of his old stuff." Charlotte hugged herself.

"You can't just change him, you know." Whitney stared at Charlotte now.

"But he's already changed, I tell you." Charlotte sighed.

"He hasn't." Whitney smiled. "He's not doing drugs, he's going to college, isn't he? What are you expecting, an underwear model in bed."

Now she made Charlotte laugh.

"No, I don't want an underwear model, I just want my Rosco who's always there for me. Now he's just depressed. About what, I don't know."

"Well, its your turn to be there for him then." Whitney informed her.

Charlotte just looked at her as if she had no idea.

"Come on, maybe there will be the perfect outfit on clearance for him." Whitney pulled Charlotte along. They were going in to American Outfitters.

it just keeps coming

2010-01-02T09:04:00.003-06:00

Finally a four day weekend. Rachel could handle that. Or she thought. And then it set in that she'd have to be worrying about 3 kids soon.

"What's the matter?" Gordy asked. They'd gotten the tree down. Most of the Christmas left overs were now in the trash. It was time to start a brand new year.

"I dunno." Rachel felt lost as if the ocean of life had swallowed her and then spit her out with more worry than ever before. "I'm going to have to take some time off. I have to get ready."

"Well, you've got a month or so, you know." Gordy shrugged as if were some sort of routine they should all accept as if something was coming in for a tune up and would be as good as new.

"But I'm not a car." She looked at him blankly there on the couch where she'd taken refuge from everything. After all, she was going to have a baby. She needed to rest.

"Did I say you were?" He shot her a look, not to play this blame game with him.

"What are we going to do?"

"Tell my mother she has to move so we can have her house." Gordy said matter of fact.

Rachel winced.

"Just kidding." He smiled slyly. "OK, if we can stand it til summer, we'll find a new place, all right. No way can we move out in this." It was practically Siberia outside with the snow and ice and the ugly below zero weather, but they were in a two bedroom apartment with no walk-in closet.

Rachel hugged herself thinking it was now or never.

"Bring me the laptop." She ordered. Somebody was going to have to do this, weren't they? She'd have to find them a new place. "You worry about something big enough that we can all fit in when we go somewhere." She informed him.

"Oh, about that," Gordy looked at her a little uneasy. "I'm gonna have to talk to my Mom about co-signing. I doubt they'd give us anything new, you know."

"All right. What ever it takes." Rachel knew she had to keep moving. Somebody was going to have to take care of this family even when she didn't feel up to it.

that perfect gift

2009-12-24T12:38:00.005-06:00

Rosco was having his caffeine fix.

His mom had given he and Charlotte and early Christmas gift. A gift card to Bed, Bath and Beyond.

He was naturally not fond of having to go there. The rush of scents gave him a headache right away. He'd let Charlotte have her way and pick what ever she'd wanted. They'd picked up an aero garden, first thing. She wanted to grow fresh tomatoes. And then they came across the French press coffee carafe.

"I always wondered what these would be like, you know." She grabbed the box.

He'd been so whatever then. He just wanted to get out of there before it started sleeting. Home was all he could think about. Staying in. Doing nothing, but maybe a video game.

So they got home and Charlotte had to play with it right away.

"I have one of those already, you know." His mother said she used it for brewing tea.

"This is strickly for coffee." Charlotte said so proudly. She put on some water to boil. She read the directions. Next thing he knew she was putting coffee grounds in the bottom of the contraption that wasn't even glass. It said on the box unbreakable.

Once the water boiled, he could see the whole pot melting before them, but it didn't. She put on the lid and pushed down the vent that would keep the ground from getting into the cups that she poured the coffee into, what seemed instantly. But the coffee was so dark.

He poured in cream, took a taste.

"You didn't let it brew enough." He informed her, but he drank it, anyway.

"Well, it didn't say how long." She looked at him.

By his third preparation, he thought he was going to get the hang of a perfect cup of coffee with this thing.

Tips on using a French press coffee carafe do vary. If you love the robust flavor of coffee, this is just what you need. Be sure to let the coffee steep at least 2 to 7 minutes. There is a lot involved in the perfect cup of coffee. Beans, how they are grind and even the water you use. Really, this is a fun gift we are enjoying this Christmas. Thanks to my Dad.

its getting frightful

2009-12-21T16:49:00.003-06:00

Emily shivered just listening to more snow and ice in the forecast from the weather man on TV.

"Don't look at me as if this is the worst Christmas ever," Archie gave her the eye as they sat there on the couch looking at the Santa photo of Gordy and the girls.

"That's not what I'm thinking." She looked at him. Lately, he was getting good at re-routing her little tiffs about the holidays.

He kept insisting she had to embrace her family while all along she was fighting him on the thought that there was nothing to embrace. Yes, Bella had her baby and yes, they needed to help out more, but seriously, she wanted to be a newly-wed too.

"You know, Jane and Lucy aren't even sisters, and they're more like sisters than either Bella or me." She smiled how Gordy was having to hold Lucy. He was a good Dad, and she looked at Archie without a worry about him being a Dad some day, too. She was just worried about herself.
"Its never too late for you and your sister." He hugged her up close.

"I know. I suppose." But she didn't want to have to work at this. It should be easy now. They were both married. Not trying to be scene queens or rock stars. There was nothing to be bitter about, and yet that wall still remained.

"You got her something, didn't you?" Archie looked at her as if she was in charge of Christmas shopping.

"No. Not yet." Emily's full bottom lip was almost a pout.

"Well, who's fault is that?" He winced slightly.

"I dunno."

"Couldn't you give her a gift card and shampoo stuff from where you work?" Archie shrugged.

"I guess, but that would have been too easy." Emily hugged herself.

"What? Were you planning on making a quilt or something?" Archie half laughed.

"No."

"Geeze." Archie shook his head and got up and grabbed her hand. "Well, come on, we better get to Baker's while we still can."

"The grocery store?" She winced.

"Yeah, they got great stuff there, and beer. Fish always likes to try a new winter beer since all the summer beers are gone now. And there has to be something there. Even books. You could pick up that latest Patterson book."

"She never reads." Emily fretted.

"Well, she might some day. You never know." He sighed. "Its the thought that counts."

Haystacks

1 cup butterscotch chips or chocolate or peanut butter
1/2 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup peanuts
2 cups chow mein noodles

Directions:

Into 2 quart dish microwave at 50% power. Melt the chips and peanut butter (3-5 minutes) You can melt it on the stove too. Stir in peanuts or cashews and chow mein noodles. Drop on wax paper. Put in refrigerator for faster set or let sit overnight on counter.

ho ho ho

2009-12-19T16:45:00.003-06:00

Gordy had a feeling they should have done this weeks ago, but as it was, they were just now getting around to see Santa for a picture with all the rough weather happening.

Gordy had so wanted to lecture Jane, but then he knew she'd lecture him right back. It would do no good. She had her little lacey number in red trim on. Socks to match. Lucy had the same outfit on too. They were so ready for this event.

Of course, the mall was packed. He was thinking how Rachel had given him the third degree on what to do. She had him so scared that he'd lose them both. Everyone had to hold hands. Of course, Rachel had stayed home. She could hardly wait to get them out the door so she could wrap presents.

"You two are sure this is what you want?" He looked at Jane as if she could change her mind if she wanted. He suspected she'd be the same way about rollercosters and rock concerts, some day. Naturally, she loved thrills.

"What are you going to tell Santa?" Gordy wanted to know.

"That I've been a very good girl." She was all smiles.

"Right."

"And Lucy has wet the bed three times." She told him.

"Now, Jane, you don't have to do that, do you?" He slightly winced.

She shook her head, no.

"OK, remember your smile." He felt like she was getting ready for a pagent, but off they went up the red carpet steps to hop on Santa who looked a might tired of all the little ones.

"How are you girls?" He asked with a pinched smile.

"Good." Jane smiled. It was going off so well, but suddenly Lucy was not happy. She didn't like Santa's beard at all.

Gordy just wanted to say come on, come on, come on. This picture couldn't be over soon enough, he thought. She was not a happy camper. She was scared.

"Its OK Lucy. Its OK." He kept smiling as if she might smile back all happy.

But she was crying so hard so he went up to grab her.

"Well come on, dear boy, just sit down in my lap with her." Santa coaxed.

Gordy wasn't sure what to say, but did as he was told. All the while he kept wondering if Santa was coming on to him. Hopefully, not. But the fact remained, he hadn't planned on getting his photo taken with Santa today.

fluffy 2 step cheese cake

Ingredients
1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese 1/3 cup white sugar 1 (8 ounce) container frozen whipped topping(cool whip), thawed 1 (9 inch) prepared graham cracker crust

Directions
In a large bowl beat together the cream cheese and sugar until smooth. Gently fold in the whipped topping. Spoon into the prepared crust. Refrigerate 3 hours, or until set.

anything goes

2009-12-14T14:35:00.003-06:00

Bella was gettting around now. OK. Well, inside. Not outside. When, she looked out, she saw that a sheet of ice had shielded the car. No way would she be going out in that with Sophie and Gib.

Yes, as luck would have it and, she knew she'd depended on them far too long, Kal and Whitney couldn't keep Gib forever. Of course, she missed him. Didn't make it any easier to keep track of him.

She'd have nightmares about him taking off out the back door. Eating snow. Always into something. It made her tired dreaming about all the horrible things he could possibly do.

But as it was he'd look at her. Find a way to be on top of her when he could, grabbing hold a lock of hair, watching everything the other baby would do. Sleep. Nurse. Looking at Bella. Looking at Sophie. Sometimes, a dance would happen as he'd stand next to Bella on the couch, he'd attempt to jump, but she wouldn't let him. He seemed to enjoy this the most. He'd tried to slap Sophie away from her breast, but he was getting better and not quite so fussy about it.

Finally, Bella got around to turning on the TV to find that Days of our Lives was on, and she hadn't even had breakfast yet. Also another wintery advisory was in full force too as a sentence streamed at the bottom of the TV screen about all the new closings. Naturally, Fish's school wasn't one of the places. More snow.

She decided she needed to boil an egg or something so she put Sophie in her crib and went to put Gib in his.

"You are just going to have to entertain yourself." Bella sighed. She'd sang to him, talked to him, read his favorite book. "Please, be tired and take a nap." Instead, a bit of exciting babble came from him, and he was jumping about as if he might do a trick for her.

Bella rolled her eyes and went to the kitchen. Naturally he threw his pacifier at her. She saw what he did, but she wasn't going to give it to him. She went to put an egg on to boil, and looked in the fridge for some juice.

She heard something. Not quite sure what it was. A noise. She closed the fridge. She heard the pitter-patter of little feet. Bella's eyes lit. He couldn't have, could he?

She heard him laugh as if were the best thing he'd ever tried. Next thing she knew he was hugging her knee.

"How did you do that?" She was so scared now. Gib could do anything he liked, she guess.

DROP JELLO SUGAR COOKIES

Cream together: 1/2 c. shortening 1 egg 1 c. sugar 1 tsp. vanilla 1 (3 oz.) box Jello (any flavor)
Add: 2 tbsp. milk 2 1/2 c. flour 3/4 tsp. salt

Drop by teaspoon onto ungreased cookie sheet. Flatten with the bottom of glass which has been dipped in sugar. Bake 400 degrees about 12 minutes. Yields 5 1/2 dozen.

the blizzard

2009-12-10T06:55:00.003-06:00

It hadn't been quite this bad since 1999, according to the local news, anyway.

This was Kat's third day home from school. Another snow day. She was delighted about that. More time for holiday baking. She'd had Jane and Lucy over for the first snow day. By the second one, Rachel stayed home with them due to all the blowing snow and drifts and subzero temps.

Of course, Parker had been fighting the drive way for the third day.

"This kind of stuff can make you old quick." She told him.

"Well, if I turn completely, gray we'll know why." He just grinned about it. As it was he'd been the only one at the library yesterday. No one was getting out in this stuff.

It was hard to remember that Parker, a few months ago, who would have just stayed in bed and hibernated. She missed that one, just a bit, but the new one had emerged as the take charge kind of guy. Or perhaps, it had all suddenly fell on him, and he figured out he'd just have to do it.

"Well, I'm making you a few extra sandwiches." She packed him a lunch. "Just in case you get stuck in a snowbank."

"Thanks, babe." He left it at that. He went out to do the morning ritual. Warm up the car.

She stayed put in the kitchen, wishing she could go out there and help, but she had to do her part too. Stay out of the way. And wonder...... if she could make do with what was on hand until a thaw came and she could do real grocery shopping.

that time of year

2009-12-07T01:46:00.005-06:00

"Am I awful?" Charlotte wanted to know. "Being so thrifty about Christmas?"

Rosco had gone with her to the grocery store. Most of Charlotte's gifts at work hadn't cost anything much. Just CD mixes she'd burn, Blistex for the shelvers.

"No, I think people aren't counting on you giving them their only present this year." He shrugged.

"Thank God." She gave a sigh of relief. "What about your Mom? Any ideas? Then there is your dad, you know."

"Yeah, well, um, I dunno." He hadn't thought about it much. Seriously, all he wanted to think about was what could he get Charlotte.

"Baskets, thats what we should do. You know, get them food or bath needs. Yeah, bath stuff, much better idea. Right?" She'd found some baskets in the dollar isle.

"Sure. Why not." Still he was at a blank about what to do for her.

"My God, the list just grows, you know." She sighed. "There's Lucy and Jane and now Gib and Sophie. Should we get them anything?"

Rosco just shrugged. He was just pushing the basket.

"You know, Gib and Sophie? And Fish and Bella. God, I feel like I've given them enough, already." Charlotte was in a tizzy now.

"Just don't worry. We'll give them coupons. Babysitting. That's what they need." He nodded. But then he really hoped his Mom remembered to get Gib that thing he could push around. It was sort of like a tricycle.

"I hadn't thought of that." She was all smiles again, about the coupon. He'd have to make sure to make them pretty on the computer and print them out fancy. Not just for Bella but for Gordy too. "I think we may have this one in the bag, Ros." She grabbed some ground coffees in different flavors. Starbucks had samples that were half the price of a full bag.

Rosco tried to smile. Really, he had to think of something for Charlotte.

Fool-proof Fudge

3 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 can (14 oz.) sweetened condensed milk
dash salt
1 cup chopped pecans or walnuts
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla

Place chocolate chips, milk and salt in a 2-quart microwave-safe bowl. Microwave on medium power until chips are melted, stirring frequently. Remove from microwave; stir in nuts and vanilla. Spread evenly into a buttered 8" square pan. Chill 2 hours or until firm. Cut into squares. Store loosely covered at room temperature.

here it comes

2009-12-05T01:32:00.003-06:00

Had he had 4 fudge dipped Ritz crackers, already? What was the secretary trying to do to him? In fact, what had the library done to him? Put Parker in charge.

Well, he had the degree. Always, had. Just waiting for the right job to come along. Yes, bonified shelver had slipped into a clerk position over the summer and by end of August he'd been put in charge of Adult services. Now the director had started his holiday vacation in Cancun already. How could he stay away so long?

"Well, its your job to put the new computer system into place." The director would have none of it.

Parker wanted to tell him it wasn't exactly a system, but then the director wouldn't know the difference anyway. He was just an old fat man done with everything, but moving money around from one account to another. As Parker had seen from time to time. He just hoped it wasn't the library's money.

So now he was having to converse with new people with new programs to put the library into more databases across the country. It was quite a maize to get through, but once it was done all would be well.

"And that head guy they brought in from Minnesota has a mad on crush on you." Charlotte had to remind him ever so often when she'd see him in passing.

Just one more thing Parker had to worry about while munching on holiday Ritz crackers. And then it came to him while in the middle of the a conference call, he hadn't gotten Kat a thing for Christmas. He was beginning to think his priorities were all wrong. Or were they?

family is family

2009-12-02T04:31:00.003-06:00

Gordy felt as awkward as hell. He knew wasn't expected there, but he was still holding Lucy because that's what she wanted. A part of him felt proud that she'd picked him, but at the same time he knew he'd feel awful to be Andy.

"Its not your fault," he'd told Andy on the ride over. "Kids. They get used to certain things. And well, they don't like change anymore than the rest of us. I'm sure if she spends more time with your Mom and your family, this will be, like a one time thing." Of course, he felt he was talking to himself about the matter. "She's really shy, you know."

But he looked back at Lucy in her carseat and then at Andy. There was no denying who's kid she was. She looked like him except she was a strawberry blonde.

Soon enough, she warmed up to Andy. And everyone was happy to see her. It was as if the party was just for her. She was laughing and Gordy took pictures when ever he could of the both of them.

Somehow, Andy was fortunate enough to be home. He had a bad knee. Of course, he looked OK. But now they'd found out his back was in bad shape, too. He didn't talk about how the injury happened. But he'd spent a good portion of the year covered in sand in a war torn country.

"So when do you think you'll get out?" Gordy was interested.

"I dunno. Probably patch me up and send me right back." There was something in his voice that made it sound like an obligation.

Gordy just nodded, wondering if Andy would know what to do with himself if he wasn't in the Army. But the more he listened to Andy, it sounded like he might be home for good. He wondered how Rachel would feel about this.

Gordy was glad they'd talked. He promised Andy's Mom they'd bring Lucy over more often. Except, it was hard leaving Lucy in practically a houseful of strangers to Lucy. He stayed a while longer, but finally decided to call Rosco to pick him up. Really, he had to let her be with her father. At least, he knew she was in very good hands.

after all this time

2009-11-29T09:07:00.003-06:00

Andy had came to see Lucy the day after Thanksgiving. Rachel knew she had to be pleased about this when really she wasn't.

It had been on her mind for some time. It had been quite a while since he'd seen her, and she knew his Mom had been bugging her quite some time about when was she ever going to let Lucy stay with them.

Honestly, there was just too much going on. It didn't help that every-time Lucy was suppose to do something with them that Jane wanted to go too. Granted, she liked how protective Jane was, but this usually ended up being more of a bossy Jane than anything.

"Now, you have to let Lucy see her Dad." Rachel tried to lay down the law as nice as she could. "You can't just butt into everything." She knew how Jane was around relatives. She'd step in. Finish Lucy's sentences for her. Of course, Lucy didn't seem to mind at all. "He's going to take her back to her grandmother's house, and you can't want to go."

"Maybe I should go see my new sister." Jane just looked up at her with her arms crossed.

"Maybe you should." So she did so they wouldn't have Jane around during Andy's visit.

But naturally Andy asked about Jane as soon as he got there. As it was, every picture she sent of Lucy had Jane in it too.

"She went to see her new little sister." Rachel was pleasant about it.

"I'm her old sister." Lucy looked at him as if she were some sort of has been.

Andy just smiled and touched her nose, but she shied away, and Rachel had to push her right back to see her dad who wasn't in his Army uniform at the moment. Of course, Lucy resisted. Rachel didn't know what to do about it. Really, she wished Jane was here to take care of this.

"You know we talked about this." She finally took her back to the kitchen.

She got a nod out of Lucy.

"You have to be brave." She told her. But Lucy's eyes swelled with tears and Rachel thought she might cry herself.

Just then Gordy came home from dropping off Jane at Bella's, Lucy took off running, grabbing him around the legs. "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" She clung on to him so tightly.

Rachel looked at Gordy as if he'd have to do something. He picked up Lucy as if everything would be OK. She looked at Andy then a bit worried.

"Well," he shrugged as if he was ready to give up.

"No, no, I'll go with you. I know you really want some time with her." Gordy told him. "We'll both go with you, right Lucy?"

Rachel didn't know what to say. This was the last thing she was expecting. Some time, by herself.

a houseful

2009-11-26T02:04:00.002-06:00

It could have been a big mess. Thank God, for the extra paper plates. It was little overwhelming by the unexpected guests.

"I told her not too," Rosco's Dad shook his head.

"Its OK." Rosco didn't know what else to do, but grin. People were eating in the livingroom. "Gloria knows these people, doesn't she?"

"Yeah, most she help raise." His Dad shrugged.

"OK, great." He looked around wondering where Charlotte was mingling in the crowd. He just wished the turkey was bigger. They'd included Parker and Emily's Mom too. They were going to bring food if there was any to Bella and Fish. It was a bit of a mad house. Thankfully, his Mom had gone to Las Vegas to see her boyfriend.

Naturally, he went to shake hands with all sorts of people he never expected to meet. Some were dressed up, some looked a little down on their luck, but there was Charlotte, happy as could be asking questions, talking about the library.

At least, there would be no leftovers this year.

here we go again

2009-11-25T02:39:00.004-06:00

"I thought they were going to attack me," Rachel was being her dramatic self while Gordy was with the girls, finishing up their brownies for the Thanksgiving feast that would begin tomorrow at his brothers' house.

"I see." Gordy just nodded as she ranted on. She'd had a terrible time at Bella's.

"You know, this was for Bella, not you." He finally went on to say.

"What are you saying?" She stomped around. She couldn't get undressed fast enough to get in her flannels and comfy house-shoes.

"That you need to calm down." He shrugged. "Look, you'd been mad if you hadn't been included."

She swelled a frown as if he was suppose to be on her side and not there's.

"Is that all you can say?"

"Well, are you going to behave yourself tomorrow?" He smiled. "Part of me wonders what you could do with a sword half the time, but I think you get so uptight, you miss the point, entirely. You have to think positive. I don't think Whitney nor Charlotte are out get you. They are trying their best. I'm trying my best. You just need to chill."

She gritted then as if she didn't want to hear it.

He went back to get the girls' hands cleaned up. Naturally, Lucy got in the chocolate. Jane gave him a look that she was glad it was Lucy and not her.

"I told her not too." Jane informed him.

"Yes, I'm sure you did." Gordy wiped Lucy's hands and face. He could see Jane could be a little overbearing. Sometimes, he wondered if Lucy had a chance in this family. "You aren't trying to get her in trouble, now are you?"

Now Jane gave him an angry look and stomped off. He watched her, thinking Jane might be more like Rachel than Bella, but then again, maybe Bella and Rachel were much more alike than they even knew.

Crap, he thought, he had fallen in love with the same type of woman all over again, and he'd promised himself again and again, he'd never fall into anything like he did with Bella. Well, it was too late now.

He got them ready for bed and went to make Rachel some Sleepy-time tea.

"I think you're working just a little to hard, lately." He'd try to get back in there and fix this with Rachel. As usual, everything evolved, but still it didn't stop them from colliding into each other.

in the mood

2009-11-24T03:21:00.004-06:00

"Wow, this is exciting." Charlotte walked the corridors of the hospital with Whitney. She'd decided to come. She couldn't remember the last time she actually went to the hospital. Part of it felt like the mall and then there were patients. She was giddy and practically dizzy. "This is where you'll have your baby?"

"Yeah," Whitney smiled. "Archie works here, you know. I'm glad I came so I could get an unofficial visit at the way things work. I'm glad Kal's with Gib."

"How do you think Gib will feel about the baby?" Charlotte asked.

"He's so little he'll always think his sister was with him, I guess. That's the way it was with my sister. For awhile, anyway." Whitney shrugged.

"Oh. How is your sister?"

"Fine, I suppose."

Charlotte could see she'd hit a nerve. She really hadn't meant too. She looped her arm around Whitney's and grinned.

"I never had a sister." She told her.

"Well, then I guess you'll have to settle for me," Whitney told her. "Of course, I might not fuss enough to be an official one."

"Don't worry, I have Rachel to fuss with all the time."

They both laughed then.

"We should get together, you know." Whitney shrugged. "But I know, Rachel is on the outs with Serena, still. And she doesn't like Bella at all, especially not Emily."

"We'll see them at Thanksgiving." Charlotte looked at Whitney.

"Yes, of course, sometimes, though, I think we need a rehearsal of some kind, so we'll be on our best behavior." Whitney sighed.

"What do you have in mind?"

"Cheese." Whitney smiled.

"Cheese?" Charlotte almost cracked up.

"Well, its a start. We could have a little welcome home baby and me party for Bella." Whitney nodded.

"You'd do that?"

"Perhaps its just the holiday spirit wooing me," Whitney nodded. "Really, I want us to get along. I'm tired of all the hatefulness."

"All right, I'm in. Just tell me what you need." Charlotte smile, hugging her arm more. It was time to see Sophie.

about time

2009-11-22T02:01:00.002-06:00

"I wish we hadn't bickered," Fish said to anyone who'd listen. He just knew it. There would be complications. "How could I have been, like that?"

Whitney could see he was tired. It helped that Archie showed up. At least he had Archie to hug on instead of her.

"You just need to focus on right now, OK." Archie informed him. "Now come on, she's having contractions. You get in there and cheer her on."

Fish cringed.

"You should be happy," Natalie smiled. "No, major surgey. Its the good old fashioned way."

"I know." He sighed. "She's gonna make me suffer, you know. I know, I'm being a whimp about this."

"Get back in there." Archie looked at him wide eyed.

"All right." Fish nodded like he was gonna do it. Whitney smiled knowing all he wanted, really, was a pep talk.

"You're gonna miss it." Archie was getting him hyped. Whitney almost laughed watching Fish act like he was going in for the last couple of yards for the game. Finally, he went back to Bella.

"Does it always make everyone this crazy?" Whitney looked at Archie in the hallway.

"How should I know," Archie laughed. "I'd probably be just as weird."

Whitney hugged herself wondering what was to come with Kal.

Naturally, a short while later everything unfolded in maybe 20 minutes. The baby was here. Tiny and screeching. Bella in a sweat. Fish all teary eyed and smiling. Whitney supposed, Thanksgiving had already began. And it didn't have anything to do with turkey nor pie. Just happiness.

one of those days

2009-11-20T23:36:00.004-06:00

"But I wanted to see New Moon today." Bella was put out with everything. Including Fish.

"No, you don't. You'll complain about the whole thing. You'll tell me its boring. You thought Edward wore too much make up, last time. Its a very long movie. And you have an appointment today to have the baby." He informed her as he had everything packed. All she needed was her coat and away they'd go.

She just huffed instead.

"Come on. You know, you wanna." He helped her with her coat. It was gonna be a slow go.

"I hope nothing happens to me." She looked at him.

"Now, you're worried about that?" He stood there looking at her puzzled as if he hadn't a clue what she might say next.

"Of course, I am." She winced as if he had no idea the trouble she'd gone to during all this. "I always hate this part."

"Do you?" He looked at her as if he didn't quite believe her. "I'm not even gonna ask what that's about." He was beat. They went to the car.

"Don't tell me you're gonna want one of those Twilight names?" He sighed thinking they'd settled on Sofia.

"Well, it did open on the 20th." She told him.

"So." He winced.

"Well, there might be some sort of significance." She shrugged.

"Like our kid is gonna turn into a vampire?" He started up the car. "That's just creepy."

It wasn't long until Bella started contractions. Fish tried to smile hard, hoping her water didn't break before they got there.

days of our lives

2009-11-15T20:31:00.004-06:00

Parker decided he'd be on Charlotte's side. After all, she needed someone to be on her side. Or perhaps, it was the idea that he always got along with Charlotte and not Rachel.

"What is really going on with you?" Rachel snapped.

"You are, not the nicest person, sometimes." He knew he had to say it like that. Otherwise, well, he didn't want to get in trouble.

"Have you been listening to Charlotte?" Rachel gave him a look.

"Well, of course," Parker shrugged with his arms crossed. "She just needs someone to listen. She listens to you all the time. Maybe there is something else going on other than having to go to these dinners and what-not that you are suppose to be going to."

"She doesn't want to babysit for me, anymore." Rachel rolled her eyes as she was getting her hot tea out of the microwave in the breakroom. "That would just be so beneath her." She was in a huff now. Parker knew he'd hit a nerve.

"Just be a friend, will you. She's not your maid." Parker gave her a glare.

"Well, what are you?" Rachel scowled. "Her big brother or something?"

Parker gritted a wince.

"The holidays are coming, you two get this worked out. Or, or the library party will be no fun at all." He gave up and went back to the computer lab where he generally had to be. He thought about what Rachel said about him being a big brother. Well, he had always wanted a little sister. The closest he had was a gay brother and that just didn't cut it.

a bitch of a day

2009-11-14T08:14:00.003-06:00

Really, Charlotte was not a rib person. Especially, eating ribs. She thought it was suppose to be a fancy dinner. It wasn't. It was this red neck place. Out door furniture to eat on that looked as if you were in someone's kitchen. And her sides kept slipping around when she tried to dig into her potato salad and beans. She had to hold the bowl just to get enough on the fork to eat. It was a bit disgusting.

"I was so over dressed. I made Rosco wear a suit." She was so unprepared. "And we got lost finding the place. We almost got ran over going down a one way street." As Charlotte told her all this at work, she could see Rachel didn't even care. "It was an accident that we got there." Charlotte wished they'd ended up somewhere else.

"Why do you have to make a big deal about it?" Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Because, you were suppose to go." Charlotte frowned.

"Oh, grow up." Rachel didn't have time for her. "Now make some copies of this Winter reading log for the program coming up and merge that cart of new graphic novels I just catalogued." She had the next four hours set for Charlotte.

"Don't I even get a thank you?" Charlotte winced. She was so ready to quit. If it wasn't for the benefit of insurance and getting to be as creative as she wanted, Charlotte wanted to quit. Did everyone hate their job as much as she did?

not quite a fever

2009-11-11T04:44:00.004-06:00

There was this retirement thing for someone at the library that Charlotte had to go to since Rachel was sort of out of commission. Or so she said. Really, Rosco knew Rachel could have gone, but she would have had to have gotten babysitting and..well, he was right here.

Anyway, they had to be the grownups. Charlotte was making him wear a suit to this old people thing. It was so damn irritating. Why, he kept asking himself. Why? So he got ready in no time. Charlotte was in the bathroom. Forever he thought.

"Are you coming out of there?" It was making him nervous. "Aren't you ready?"

Nothing. Absolutely not a word came from the bathroom. So he tied his leather shoes, and went to see if it was unlocked. It was. It was there, his eyes opened wide. He took it all in. Charlotte had decided to cut the back of her hair.

"Does it look OK?" She turned to him as she snipped one more lock with the worst scissors in the world.

"No. No, it doesn't, Charlotte." And it didn't. It looked off. Really off. Rosco rolled his eyes and took the scissors. He combed her curls out and she squealed like a baby.

"Sorry, but you asked for it." He'd have to even it out. "What were you thinking?"

"That it was ugly." She winced.

"Stop looking in the mirror so much." He braided what he could and tucked it under with pins. "Don't do this again."

She gave him a scowl.

He sighed back.

"I don't even want to go to this thing." He told her.

"I don't either. I just want a cheese pizza and watch Glee on TV." She looked so sad.

"I'm recording it." He told her.

She went to get on her tights and boots. Naturally, no one there would be dressed quite as stylish as Charlotte.

little rollercoasters

2009-11-08T09:02:00.002-06:00

Whitney wasn't sure what to think of her new found position in all this chaos with Bella. Again, Bella had been in the hospital. Another false alarm. Whitney had Gib to chase around for the most part. He was a climber and now had a thing for electricity. She had to watch him like a hawk.

True, Kal did what he could, but he was busy with work. She wouldn't dare complain about it, but it was a bit exhausting. Perhaps, she stressed too much.

"Well, he's kind of tiger." Fish had renamed him after Gib bit Whitney.

It came out of no where. Actually. She hadn't expected it. Wasn't this the kind of behavior a kid picked up around other kids? As it was he wasn't even around Jane that much.

"It wasn't that bad," Whitney tried not to make that much about it. But he'd bit her on the shoulder when Kal had decided Gib needed a hair cut and guess who got to hold him? Whitney. She covered up the bruise. And Kal decided maybe Gib could have a mullet, after all. As long as they could keep the hair out of his eyes and his face.

Fish just smiled. He told her they were just second in charge of this operation with Gib. "Maybe things will go much smoother when yours comes along."

"So, you think it'll be different when, you know, its your kid?" Whitney had asked when Fish loaded Gib up to take home so she could have a break.

"I can only hope," he sighed. "You know, how all those compromises get in the way of something potential."

Whitney thought she knew. It wasn't going to change. Not really. This was what it was. Take it or leave it. Make the best of a not really that bad situation. Naturally, Gib wanted her one last time to give her a sloppy kiss on the cheek. So she took him back, and he wrapped himself around her, not wanting to go.

"Come on Tiger, you know you want to see Mumzy." Fish did his best to get Gib's damp fingers out of her hair. He gave him a pacifier before he slobbered all over her.

"Don't miss him too much now." Fish got him back, knowing this time he had to go. "You know I'll be back with him later."

a big pain

2009-11-06T14:44:00.004-06:00

Gordy was with the girls at immunizations to get their H1N1 vaccinations. Naturally, he had Rachel to cope with too.

"They'll get the spray, won't they?" She didn't want them to have the shot.

"I dunno." Gordy hadn't thought about it. Naturally, Jane was decked out as if she were going to a tea-party. Lucy was in her tights and dress vest that was more or less an apron over her little pink turtle neck. She made plenty of changes during the day, thanks to Rachel's little masterpieces she'd invented from Gordy's old flannel shirts and jeans.

He had Lucy in his lap while Jane was taking in everyone. Little kids her age. Even babies.

"You have to stay with us. They'll call our name before you know it." Gordy told her. Of course, she wouldn't pay him any mind.

"Come here." He begged. Finally she looked at him. "Are you listening to me?"

"Why are you so mad?" She danced around.

"I'm not. Its just, I need for you to go easy on me." He told her. They called their names and went in for the nose spray.

But then the nurse pulled out a syringe full of the vaccine.

"Who's that for?" Rachel's eyes open wide.

"Its for you." The soured woman said who'd probably been giving shots all day.

Gordy saw Rachel cringe. She closed her eyes tight. It was done so fast, but she screamed in pain, anyway.

"She is a big baby." Jane crossed her arms.

"No, she has a big baby inside her." Lucy corrected.

"Come on, we'll get a happy meal, somewhere." Gordy sighed. He held their hands while they waited for Rachel to make her way out of the clinic. He looked back Rachel and saw the distress on her face as she rubbed her arm. Well, Jane did have a point, thought Gordy, but so did Lucy.

How did that happen

2009-11-03T14:36:00.003-06:00

Thank God it was only mono.

"See." Emily took another pregnancy test to be sure. But as it was the doctor had told her she just needed lots of fluids and rest.

"I wonder how that happened?" Archie looked at the stick in their bathroom and tossed it in the trash.

"Who knows how it happened." Emily looked at him wide eyed. "I'm around sick people all the time. So are you."

He sighed with a nod.

"But I don't think you should sleep with me." She looked at him seriously. She was in her flannel PJs already.

"What?" He winced. "What for?"

"Because, I don't want to get you sick." She shrugged.

"No, no...I don't think that's it all. You just want the bed all to yourself." He went and snatched his pillow and a blanket off the bed. Now it looked so naked where he might sleep.

Well, she could deal. She felt miserable and she was ill.

"How long do I have to do this!" He yelled from downstairs.

"3 weeks!" She yelled back.

It was awful quiet then. Almost unnerving, she thought. Emily got under the covers and hugged a pillow. It didn't feel right. She was used to his weight on the other side of the bed. His body heat. He was satisfyingly so warm. But she couldn't conjure it up even if she tried.

She got her pillow then and went down stairs where he was on the futon. Emily snuggled up next to him under the covers. He was only in his briefs.

"This is lovely, just lovely." Archie muttered almost half asleep. Emily just smiled.

anything else

2009-10-28T22:48:00.003-05:00

Bella wasn't sure which days she was counting. The days she'd been in bed or the days it would be til her due date. And then there were the days to Gib's birthday.

"Well, I don't know why you worry about all this stuff." Naturally, Emily was no help. She could tell her sister had other things to do than hang out with her.

"I've let Gib down." She felt so weak, and yet she thought for sure she could do flips off the bed if given a chance. If she could just do a little yoga, it would help. She was sure of it. As if was, people were always taking her blood pressure then her blood sugar. "What if I have this baby on Gib's birthday? How awful is that?"

"I dunno." Emily looked tired. "Its not that awful." She sat there in a fluffy chair someone had dropped off. Bella supposed it was Parker because he wanted something comfy for her Mom to sit in.

"OH MY GOD." Bella sat up and really looked at Emily then. "You're pregnant or you either have the flu."

"I am not pregnant." Emily laughed at her sister. "Seriously!"

"There is a First Response in the bathroom cabinet. Go, take it. Or check your temperature." Bella pointed to the bathroom.

"I'm just tired. That's all." Emily sighed. "I'm on my feet all day. And that friend of Mom's has me coming in on Mondays when I don't work, to this Salon he's starting. Really, I'm fine."

"Go! Just go! And do it, all right." Bella insisted.

"All right." Emily yawned. "This has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever done."

over the meadow and through the dell

2009-10-25T12:32:00.003-05:00

Rosco was pleased that Rachel finally decided to find out what the sex of he baby would be. At least, Gordy must be happy. It was a boy.

"Just in time for Halloween," Rosco grinned. They were moving in Gloria and their Dad into the pre made house they'd found in perhaps a fancy trailer park out by a man-made lake. An idea to make you think you were in the country when you really weren't.

"What? You make it sound like we might be having a gremlin?" Gordy was a little testy.

"I didn't say that. But you must be happy to finally know." Rosco tried not to smile so much.

"Yeah, I guess." Gordy shrugged.

"You were wanting a girl, weren't you?" Rosco was kind of shocked.

"Um, maybe, but I'm just happy all is well. Its amazing Rachel doesn't have problems with her blood pressure. The way she acts. She worse than either of the girls." Gordy confided.

"Well, that's just Rachel." Rosco nodded as they unloaded boxes of the new place.

Gloria got out pictures of kids they hadn't an inkling who they were. So many of different races and mixes. She was already building her display on the wall.

"I'm hoping I have a big crowd for Thanksgiving," Gloria said looking at the both of them. Rosco looked at Gordy. Rosco was sure they didn't have any plans to come over for Thanksgiving.

"Uh, hmm, you mean us?" Gordy asked.

"Well, I would love for you to come, but its last minute. Really, I'd like for my own kids to be here. They are mostly in California." She told him.

"You guys are just moving in, you know, maybe you should just come over to our Thanksgiving this year. I mean, its just us, but Rosco's Mom has a really big table." Gordy explained.

"But my Mom's going to Vegas?" Rosco looked at him as if it were more of a party than a proper Thanksgiving.

"See, she'll be in Vegas, you can oversee everything. You know, make sure everyone is doing what they're suppose to be doing. Or sleep in, and you two and come over and have a worry free Thanksgiving meal." Gordy sighed.

Rosco supposed everyone would be OK with that.

"That would be great," Gloria just smiled.

"Gordy, you know you've got to get through Halloween first." Rosco reminded him.

"I know, and the girls haven't figured out their costumes out yet.." Gordy shook his head.

that time of year

2009-10-20T20:06:00.005-05:00

Whitney couldn't decide if she was starting to show or not. Some moments she'd look in the mirror and think how bad she looked in something. She felt fat. But then there were moments, ever great once in while, she thought she looked great. She couldn't decide.

"Should I stop wearing this dress?" She couldn't manage to wear the tights anymore with it. It was just too uncomfortable. It was her basic black dress.

"You're OK." Charlotte shrugged, but then she got the idea. "Lets go try on maternity clothes at Target. So you can look, you know, really in style, pregnant."

It was enough encouragement to get Whitney out of the house. As it was, it was work and back to the house. Everyday.

Naturally, Charlotte went right to work wanting Whitney to wear the tightest thing possible on the maternity rack.

"I have to have something that will grow with me, you know." Whitney just glared at her after trying the first sweater dress that made her look like a sausage.

"Well, you don't want to look like you're in the circus, either." Charlotte told her. "You have to wear your baby bump proud."

Whitney rolled her eyes at that. She picked up a couple of tops on clearance and settled for some maternity tights to help out with her empire waist dresses she already had for work.

"Oh, Oh...we must try on boots. Please!" Charlotte tried her best to get Whitney in the highest heel. Whitney shook her head to that. Whitney settled for something she could wear around the house or even work. No heels for her.

Whitney definitely wanted to feel comfortable while she was pregnant. Well, she'd try. Clothing was only a part of the process. Sometimes, she wondered if anything could make her completely comfortable.

in a tailspin

2009-10-18T20:54:00.003-05:00

Kat had survived the library potluck. She supposed she was getting used to being the old woman that Parker was married too. Though, no one ever said it. Just the same, she could feel it with looks. But it was nothing. She had decided not to care. After all, she had bigger things to worry about. She was pregnant, and a daughter who could have her baby any moment.

As it was, at the school they were really behind the glass this season. All this talk about the new flu shot was going to be given at school, hadn't happened yet. But they'd really kept things closed up. Trying their best to stay away from those germs.

It was all so unsettling. Each step through the day. She could hardly wait to get home to shower and change into her flannel pajamas. Really, home was her little haven.

She decided she'd just bake ginger bread. Plan out Thanksgiving, Christmas. Have something to look forward to. Yet, it was impossible. She couldn't.

This was making her a complete nervous wreck.

"We'll have to do things." Parker's only advice.

"Do things?" Now what could that mean? In bed?

"We'll go places. You know, museums, free concerts. We should get out more." He shrugged. As it was he helped her with dinner and around the house.

"But I don't want to go out." She sighed. It felt good to be within a world of a world. She didn't want to think of sad things like when the sun might die.

"I guess we'll have to fill the house up with music then." He just smiled, handed her the new Alice Hoffman book. "If you don't like it maybe you'll want to read Naked in Dangerous Places."

baby, its cold outside

2009-10-14T22:02:00.004-05:00

Gordy was sure of it. Rachel was on fire.

She had not noticed the temperature dip, evidently. But it was freezing inside, too.

"What are you doing?" She was on to him as soon as he was near the thermostat.

"Turning on the heat." He was pleasant enough about it. He'd cooked supper hadn't he? A nice stir-fry with carrots and broccoli and very lite on the sauce. He'd timed it where she had plenty of time to put her feet up on the couch. He was hoping she was still enthralled with Extra. As it was, Jane and Lucy were huddled together hugging just to keep warm.

"No. No you don't." She shook her head all fussy.

"Babe, the girls are cold." He gave her a glare. He smiled sweetly. "We won't set it too high."

There was a pouring icy rain out. Everything was soggy. The snow might have melted, but it was still cold.

He didn't want to tell her that each night she was getting just a little harder to sleep with. All her tossing and turning. And he couldn't begin to tell her what was on his mind. Everything from something new to drive, so an extra car seat would fit... to the notion this place really was too small for all of them.

"Please?" He winced a bit helpless.

She let out a sigh, and rolled her eyes at him.

Gordy turned on the heat. Naturally, cold air came out the vent. He shut it off and put sweaters on the girls. He scratched the back of his head for a moment, thinking. Maybe he could light the furnace or something. No, best not. Didn't want to set the building on fire. He'd have to call maintenance. He doubted they'd get here tonight.

Rachel just smiled. She picked up the Food Network magazine he'd brought her.

"Hey, here's a cookie recipe right here to ward off the flu. Maybe we could make these tonight." She showed the girls.

Gordy just sighed. He knew when he'd been whipped. She handed over the magazine to him. He supposed he best get to it so they could keep the kitchen warm.
***************************
Flu Fighter cookies

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour (295 grams)
1 1/4 tsp. baking powder
3/4 tsp. baking soda
3/4 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp. freshly grated nutmeg
Pinch of ground cloves
1/4 tsp. salt (I used ½)
4 oz unsalted butter
1 cup packed dark brown sugar (220 grams)
2 large eggs
1/4 cup molasses
1 tablespoon freshly grated ginger
2 tsp. finely grated lemon zest (about 1 lemon)
1/4 cup sour cream or low fat Greek yogurt
1/2 cup old-fashioned oats
1 1/4 raisins (golden or regular)
1 1/4 cups dried cranberries
1 1/4 cups roughly chopped walnuts, toasted

Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves and salt in a bowl and stir well; set aside.

Cream the butter and brown sugar in a large bowl until light and fluffy, 3 minutes. Beat in the eggs one at a time. Beat in the molasses ginger and lemon zest, scraping sides of bowl, then fold in the sour cream.

By hand or with lowest speed of mixer, stir in the flour mixture.

Fold in oats and half of the raisins, cranberries and walnuts. Mix the remaining dried fruit and nuts in a small bowl and set aside.

Drop heaping tablespoons of batter onto the prepared baking sheets.
Top each with some of the reserved dried-fruit-and-nut mixture and
chill for 30 minutes.

Meanwhile, preheat oven to 375. Bake the cookies until dark golden but still soft, 10-12 minutes; cool on a rack. Store in an airtight container for up to 1 week.

an early start

2009-10-13T08:07:00.003-05:00

What had happened to the life that she knew?

As it was, Emily felt as if everything was a big mess after getting back from her honeymoon. Of course, she liked to blame this on Bella. But that might not have been true. Exactly. Bella didn't take every inch of her time.

Now she had breakfast and dinner to worry about with Archie.

"I really don't like breakfast that much." He'd told her. "But you know that?" Yet he didn't seem to mind waffles and sausage at 6 in the morning.

Yes, she did know that about him. But they had their own place. Although, it wasn't all that far from home. Suddenly, though, it donned her. They were on their own.

"Well, shouldn't we have, you know, special moments of the day?" She sounded like it might be her religion now.

Archie thought it was funny. "I don't want you to hurt yourself in the process." He told her he could fend on his own for breakfast. "You don't have to get up so early. And even if you do, we could still make the most of it in bed, couldn't we?"

"I suppose." She shrugged. "Just, I want everything better than when my Mom and Dad were together. You know, it was this rut. I don't want that to be us."

"Is your Mom in a rut now?" Archie asked over coffee.

"No."

"Well, I guess we know the culprit in that story, don't we? Stop worrying so much." He glared at her a bit and then he laughed.

"Its still a little overwhelming." She looked at the mess in the kitchen she'd made. Now she'd have to clean it up before she left for work. She hated housework, but it was rewarding.

"I don't think its that much different than before." He winced.

"I guess." Maybe he was right. Maybe she was nervous for nothing.

He helped clean up then.

"We'll make something with egg plant tonight." Mrs. LaBarren had to deconstruct her garden before the freeze. Archie had done the work for her and had quite a few vegetables to deal with. "Vegetarian?" He kissed her cheek then as he did away with the waffle batter. "You've been wanting vegetarian for a long time."

She smiled. She did like cooking with him. Although, she was starting to think he might be the better cook, after all.

ups and downs

2009-10-11T17:54:00.003-05:00

It was getting cold. Even snow. A small snow. A bit like a spring snow had came. And Charlotte felt fat.

"Well, you're not. So just stop thinking it." Rosco shrugged. He was changing Gib's pamper. As it was, he spent more time with the baby than anyone else in the house.

"He's going to think you're his dad." She stared at them. Not at her computer.

"Where is that coming from?" Rosco winced and let him down to run about in the livingroom. He had all the energy in the world that Charlotte didn't.

"Sorry." She was sleepy. Words were just coming out. It seemed she was full of all the wrong words.

"Is this a Rachel thing?" Rosco came over.

She heaved. Wasn't that enough of an answer.

"They asked me out to see Zombieland, the book club, after we had our Pride and Prejudice and Zombies thing. I guess she didn't like that because she wasn't invited. She wouldn't came, anyway. I mean, it was just spur of the moment, you know." She looked at him then wondering if he were hurt about it too because he was with Gib. They'd gone to the last showing at 10 that night.

"Everything makes her mad? Am I like that?" She wondered.

He shook his head, no.

"I thought we were OK. I get to hear her vent about everything under the sun. Work. Gordy. Bella and the kids, even you."

"Even me?" Rosco glared.

Oops. Charlotte knew it was best to keep her mouth shut. She kept saying she wouldn't say anything at all to anyone. But she wasn't like that.

the on going slumber party

2009-10-06T13:46:00.003-05:00

Mrs. LaBarren said there was an art to staying in bed. Bella supposed so. Mrs. LaBarren told her she stayed a good bit of her last marriage in bed. Bella wasn't sure she wanted to know all about that. There were some things she wanted kept a mystery.

As it was Bella ate, slept and dreamed of DeGrassi. It was the only show she could stomach and a lot of the time she wish she wouldn't have because soon enough she was dreaming of Spinner and his cancer and pot smoking days and what was up with that closet homosexual jock who had the hots for Peter? Bella couldn't help but be in love with the show.

"You should be crocheting," Mrs. LaBarren said bringing out all her yarn and needles.

"Well," Bella wasn't sure if she wanted to or not. Her big attempt at business hadn't gotten her anywhere. Actually.

"We'll work on baby blankets." It was settled. Mrs. LaBarren put her to work.

But she couldn't help but miss Gib. She didn't know she could miss him this much even if Kal and Whitney brought him over as soon as they were off work. Whitney would make supper, and Bella would try to keep Gib in bed with her. It could only last so long. There was a longing, as if she were missing something. As if she could consider this void as something that needed to be fixed. So she'd get back to her teen soap.,and dream of those familiar faces at night. It was like going to another world. Not thinking of this one at all. She didn't like it. Didn't know if she'd be ready for the big moment when it happened. So she'd try to keep up with the crocheting with Mrs. LaBarren, and wait for her nights when Fish would come home, and they'd have a slumber party. Sometimes, Jane would join in.

It was so hard learning to savor the moments. But she knew she must. So she'd read to Jane, and Jane would just smile, and she'd hear her say, "I'm glad you have to stay in bed."

more than a recipe

2009-10-05T13:26:00.003-05:00

"All right, right now is not the time to spaz," Kat didn't know what else to say to Bella. "At least you can go home." But she'd have to be on bed-rest. It was as if Bella's world had been turned upside down. "But you really have to stay in bed. Like they said."

Kat wasn't sure if this talk would do any good. She was afraid it would have to take a village to get through the rest of the month. At least Gib was taken care of. Kal and Whitney could watch after him. But as it was, everyone worked. And Mrs. LaBarren and Dan were the only people she knew who had the time to be there with Bella most of the day.

"We'll have a schedule, and everything." Kat flashed the chart at Bella who hadn't gotten home yet. She was just waiting for paperwork to clear at the hospital. "Some days, even Rosco can bring Gib over in the mornings." Kat smiled. She had everyone she could possibly think of to help out. Even she got some late afternoons with Bella which might be the hardest since dinner would be involved. "You're going to be OK."

But Bella was fretting.

"I just can't believe this is happening." Bella's tears were real. And she was practically a basket case.

"If this had happened with Gib, you probably would have been laughing right now." Kat sighed.

"I know. I know. Its just different this time." Bella frowned and Kat knew she had to give her a hug. "Everything scares me right now."

"Well, you have to think of this as a vacation." Kat told her.

"Its like, I'm having to do everything opposite from last time. Last time, I had to exercise all the time. Now, its...don't do anything."

"Its just a few weeks. Maybe in a week or so, you can be off bed-rest." Kat had to be wishful thinking.

this little light of mine

2009-10-04T07:44:00.002-05:00

"Hey, how's it going?" Archie just smiled.

It wasn't long after Emily told him about the Fish situation that he found him near the nursery in the maternity ward.

"Oh, you know-" Fish just shrugged. "I'm afraid something bad will happen." He had his jeans shoved in his pockets. "I just don't know if I can...take it." He sighed.

"OK," he could see why Whitney had been worried. He felt bad that he hadn't noticed. "Did you have anything to eat yet?" Archie squeezed the back of Fish's shoulder while he stared at the babies in the nursery.

He shook his head, no.

"What if she loses the baby? Or if I lose her?" Tears streamed down his face. "How come I can't be strong about this?"

"You will be, when the time comes." Archie told him, giving him a hug. "Don't start doubting everything now. You gotta have hope." He thought Fish migh crumble on him right then.

"I remember when I used to not worry about anything." Fish sighed in Archie's arms. "Of course, I didn't really do anything, either. I mean, I had my little space and I did my thing down at the guitar shop and well, you know, I kept to myself. What happened to me?"

"You grew up, Fish." Archie told him. "Come on, we'll go down to the chapel, light a candle. It might make you feel better."

Archie guided him down the corrider. He knew Fish could find the faith within himself. The tough part was just letting it show.

different avenues

2009-10-03T08:15:00.003-05:00

Emily's cell rang. She was at the hospital. It seemed she was the only one who had the time to be with her sister, who may or may not be having her baby any moment. She'd just gotten herself more coffee. Now if it were only drinkable.

"Emily, how's Fish?" It was Whitney.

"I dunno." She looked around. He wasn't in the room with Bella. "He was coming to pick up Gib and then go home. He was going home."

"I told him we'd take care of Gib, and..."

"And what?" Emily scowled.

"He's nervous." Whitney told her. "Can you and Archie, you know, talk to him. I think somebody needs to stay with him."

"He's not even having the baby?" This was ridiculous.

"Well, he's going through some...thing."

"Like what?" Emily scowled as she walked the halls.

"He just wasn't himself." Whitney admitted.

"Like a serial killer?" Emily sighed. Was this a Halloween prank? Maybe he was real zombie.

"Look, maybe you could get Archie to be with him. We are his only family. His mom probably doesn't even know anything that much about Bella and what's going on. Kal would come, but he's still at work and I'm sure he'd say its all to awkward. Being there at the hospital. Can you do that?"

"All right." Emily supposed she might have a point. This was more than just Bella and labor pains. She knew Fish was exhausted. She thought this was his chance to get a little sleep.

Why was it some people could make things so demanding. As if everything should drop just for them. Like Bella. She was sure this was all her fault. She looked up and saw Archie who was still in his scrubs. He'd just gotten off from the lab.

twists and turns

2009-09-30T15:48:00.004-05:00

"I think Bella's at war with Rachel." Fish nodded.

Whitney didn't know what she could say. He came to pick up Gib. Bella had spent most of the afternoon taking stress tests which ended up being more labor than they expected. They were keeping her in the hospital for the night.

"Well, we get along." Whitney thought that might count for something, maybe. She stood there in there in the living-room watching Gib go around and around the rug. "You know, you could just let Gib stay. If that would help."

"But look at you," he then smiled. "You're due in February."

"I can handle Gib, really." She'd taken off the afternoon from work to tend to him. As it was Gib was walking around. He was a feisty little man who loved to dance to music and climb everything.

"She'll be upset if, God knows about what, but she will be." Fish shook his head. "I don't know if I can last another month of this. The baby is due in November. She says she is done after this."

Whitney just smiled. Fish looked like he could use a vacation.

"Let him stay. You really look like you could use some sleep."

She watched Fish scoop Gib off the floor. Naturally, the baby smiled and put his hands in Fish's hair as if he needed to hold on to him.

"Yeah, got that right." He yawned.

"Kal is working late," Whitney then told him. "He'll hate that he missed him if he goes now."

"All right." Fish yawned again. He put Gib down, who ran to the coffee table and danced around it like it was his favorite old friend. Whitney just smiled. Unaware that Fish was going to leave her a French Kiss that she wouldn't forget.

a blazing

2009-09-29T13:36:00.002-05:00

Charlotte freakishly felt fine. Really, she hadn't felt this quite energetic in a long time.

"What's the matter with you?" Rosco smirked. It wasn't even five in the morning, and she was wide awake snuggling next to him under the covers.

"Can't a girl want sex in the morning?" She jabbed him with her index finger in the ribs then. And well, that was the end of talk and more of something else. Which might have lasted a good twenty minutes. She looked back at the clock afterwards just to see how long it might be. She smiled, thinking which way the record broke.

"You are really in a mood this morning." Rosco informed her as if he might be in a lull and didn't want to move.

"That's because Rach will be out the rest of the week." Charlotte shrugged and kissed him as if she had more time to waste if he did.

"You really have fun when she's not around, is that?" Rosco wanted to know who cuddled her more.

"Maybe." Charlotte smiled. "I don't mean to be, but she's really a bit ruthless, lately. She was mad that we went to see WHIP IT."

"Well, you didn't know about the special showing until like an hour before it happened Saturday night." He reminded.

"I know. I told her I'd see it when ever she wanted. She doesn't like going to movies by herself." Charlotte sighed. "Anyway, I have the book club this afternoon. I hope they like it. I'm excited. I might not be that excited if Rachel was around because she wants to make everything boring. She says she has too. Or we'll get in trouble."

"Don't worry about it. You do what you want to do. All right. Have some fun. You're a passionate person. You really are," Rosco smiled then whispered in her ear. " Set that book club on fire."

a hard morning

2009-09-28T14:47:00.003-05:00

Well, its just a crazy day. Rachel had decided. Now her eyes hurt. They were so red. Honestly, she felt she was seeing in special effect. The light illuminated in the lamp in the living-room. She squinted hard and that's when she realised her eyes were oozing.

She looked at the girls eyes. Theirs were red too.

"Shit!" Immediately, she told them they weren't suppose to say that. Especially in front of Gordy. "Don't tell them I said that. Please!" She went for the phone then. To call for an appointment. A few minutes later she was calling the library to tell them she might have the pink eye.

It had gotten colder too. They would need on their tights today. OK, she was putting them in jeans. No need to dress up for the doctor's office. Jane wasn't complaining, either.

"How did we get this stuff?" She was saying as she was helping them with socks and shoes. They would even need their jackets.

"Mommie's Fish has pink eyes." Lucy was proud of herself for saying such a sentence.

"No, she's not your Mommie. She's my Mommie. " Jane clarified.

"What?" Rachel squinted then and her eyes oozed. She felt as if something metal might be under her eyelids, as well.

"Fish." Jane stated.

"Fish?"

"Fish." Lucy grinned.

"You two should be, you know. Quiet." Rachel nodded and told them to sit on the couch and not move. Just watch TV. They had an appointment in two hours. She went to call Bella then.

"Are you sick?" She asked matter of fact. Of course, Bella had to tell her all about the flu shot and then Fish having the pink eye and Gib had it, as well.

"I wish you would have told me." Rachel was in a huff. "Now the girls have it. I have it."

"They'll give you an ointment. It might be just allergies." Bella reminded her.

"I don't think so. They got it from you." Rachel was certain of it.

"Look," Bella laid into her. "You bitch if they don't come over, and you know Jane doesn't want to be here if Lucy's not here. And you always have something to say that's always my fault. Don't you?"

"Fine. Maybe we'll keep them home!" Rachel yelled back.

"Don't you start this! We have a system now. Jane is over every other Saturday." Bella informed her.

Rachel was fuming when she hung up. Some days she wanted to move with Gordy and the girls far from here. But she didn't see that happening anytime soon. She got a warm wash cloth and put it over her eyes. She needed some relief somewhere.

normal circumstances

2009-09-26T10:29:00.002-05:00

Could it be possible? Parker wouldn't have to take the flu shot since he was sick with whatever it was that Kat had after she had the flu shot. They both felt slightly miserable. But he showed up at work, pumped on sudafed at least for the next 8 hours.

"Should I go home?" He'd watched the video about being sick and how to sneeze in your arm and coughing into your sleeve. But what they didn't know... when a sneezing attack took over you, you just sneezed anywhere. Everywhere.

"How do you feel?" Charlotte asked pointing that he better stay way away from Rachel's desk. She pulled out some sanitizer spray and sprayed about Rachel's territory.

"Not great. But I don't have a fever." Parker shrugged.

"You might have the pink eye." She nodded.

"No, I don't." He didn't think so. He didn't want to think how red his eyes might be.

"Look, if you feel so miserable. Go home." She smiled as if she knew something about these kind of conditions.

"Well, I'm suppose to be here." God, forbid the director actually do something other than walk around ever so often to spot someone to tell them they should be doing something. It was just the library. Things were suppose to be relaxed. But nothing seemed to be in this economy.

"OK, then .... should I call Rachel and warn her?" Charlotte winced who was cutting out her little books about the October young adult programs filled for the Anime junkie and gamers were not excluded. There was a gamefest coming up along with the 3 live action movies from Death Note.

"I wouldn't scare her if I were you." Parker nodded.

"You got the Pride and Prejudice and Zombies all ready for the book club?" Charlotte moved on to more important questions.

"I thought you were doing that one?"

"I am, but I need you there. If some of the Freshman boys get nasty, I need you to protect me." She laughed.

"You can take of yourself. You always do." Parker told her.

"I dunno. They gets so rude, you know."

"All right. Sure. I'll be there if I must." Parker shrugged.

"Great." Charlotte smile. "Go home and get some sleep."

"I can't." Sudafed definitely wouldn't let him now. He got word their was a crisis in the computer lab. There might be a virus coming from Facebook.

what else could you do

2009-09-25T10:20:00.003-05:00

Well, Fish would take his chances. Gib wasn't even asleep yet.

"What's gotten in to you?" Fish asked Bella who already had him in the bedroom. She was like a wild woman.

"See, I knew we shouldn't have seen Jennifer's Body. You might think you're Megan Fox now. Which you're not. You're so not. Thank God." Really, Megan Fox didn't turn him on. Not like Bella who really had a way with her hands, and well, he guessed she knew more about getting into certain positions than he ever would. Yoga must be the trick.

"So I'm still sexy?" Bella looked at him.

"God, yeah," Fish laughed a bit nervously. She kissed him and he pulled back. "You're sick aren't you? This is not about breaking your water, now is it? I'm not gonna. You have an appointment for your c-section in a couple of more weeks. So uh, you know...." He hated when she got like this. Of course, she was really almost pushy when she first found out about this pregnancy. She just couldn't get enough sex. Then. But that had waned, and he was OK with that. Especially, with getting ready for school.

He licked his dry lips, and she kissed him as if she had some sort of plan, in store. "I really think we could, you know, spoon." Fish suggested.

"Spoon?" She sounded like he'd have to go downstairs and bring up spoons for some game of tossing stuff back and forth to each other.

"I want you to be OK. And I know you aren't feeling that great. You look tired." Fish nodded.

"I do not."

"Then I'm tired." He smiled. "Really, I can't believe we went to the movie. And it wasn't that bad of a movie like all those critics said. I liked it."

"Can we not talk about the movie." Bella winced as if she was making an effort here, and he wasn't.

"Of course." He was going to stay in these briefs or else and maybe his black socks too. "Lets go to bed." He pulled back the covers, turned on the lamp next to bed. He got in on his side and waited for her as if maybe they'd take off into the night on a flying carpet perhaps.

He could tell by her quietness that she was mad. Didn't she always do this to him? She turned her back to him. Which was fine. He expected it. He turned toward her and put his hand on her belly and let it rest there til he felt the baby's foot nudging against his hand. He smiled. He was in love. Such love that didn't need so much effort. He kissed her behind the ear then. He felt her smile some how as he nuzzled next to her ear lobe.

"I love you," he whispered into her ear.

it could be worse

2009-09-24T12:03:00.003-05:00

What if it was just psycho-semantic? Did Bella even know the definition to the word?

So, she got the flu shot. And it wasn't that bad. A little twinge in the arm. Still. She felt she had a slight cold so suddenly too. It was so aggravating. Actually, it was just making her nervous. The only person she knew to call was Gordy.

"Are you sure you should have gotten the flu shot?" Gordy sounded so indifferent. Making her out to be in the wrong on this.

"Well, I was told I should." Now he was scaring her. "Did Rachel get one?"

"No. She hates shots." Gordy told her.

"Well, I got one." She felt like a doofus of some kind. It was as if she'd intentionally poisoned herself some how. "What if something it wrong with me? Or the baby?" She winced. A horror film was unfolding in her head. "God, I feel so bad about this. I really should have got on antidepressants, shouldn't I've? After I had Gib." She was in tears.

"Don't talk like that." Gordy told her as if he'd have to help her out of this, somehow. "You're strong. You really are. Think how you got through the last pregnancy. You were tough, you know. Taking those insulin shots like that. I really think you're a lot stronger than you think. You'll be OK."

"Really?" She sniffed. It was making her cold feel worse. Her eyes were already red with pink eye. But she sat down on the couch and watched Gib at her feet play around the coffee table. Naturally, he climbed on top of it.

"Well, you had so much fun, sort of, I guess, when you first found out your were pregnant with Jane." He remembered. So did she. God, she'd wanted sex all the time. She swore she could remember the moment Jane was conceived. It was her first orgasm. Up until then she thought it might be her. Maybe it would never happen. Possibly, she was too tense and didn't even know how to have a good time. They'd gone to a party but somehow got lost on the way back and ended up on some hill by the lake. They'd sat out looking at the stars for the longest time, but finally went back in the car in the back seat. And they'd had so much fun kissing. It had been cozy, and she thought she knew him, his body, his moves. And it turned her on somehow when she knew by that smile of his that he was turned on too. Really, she didn't know why it had been different that time. Maybe it was because he wasn't asking her questions, and she could listen to the night. He was on top. The moonlight coming in and she smiled in the prefect stillness. She kept her eyes closed. And she was happy, until she opened her eyes and saw someone's hand reaching in the dark and she screamed.

It made her shutter now. But right before the hand. it had happened. The first time. But he didn't believe her about that nor the hand. None of it. Bella felt a little sad about it now when she thought of it. There was only Jane now as a reminder, and it was something she'd never tell her.

flashes of warning

2009-09-22T13:27:00.004-05:00

Why in the world did she get that flu shot? Kat went with Bella to get it over with. She wondered how Bella might be feeling right now. Kat went right to bed after she had the shot and woke up with a sore throat. And her arm sort of her hurt where the nurse gave her the shot.

She felt absolutely awful. What had she done? Of course, when she finally belched she felt so much better. Was it just her? Her age? Or just being pregnant that made things these days slow as molasses.

She laid there in the afternoon dark of their bedroom. Wondering if it were possible to get through this ordeal without it being absolutely traumatic. At the moment, she hoped Parker made her favorite, tomato soup and cheese grilled sandwiches. She was hoping it was after five, but it was barely 4:45. She didn't know what she was doing anymore. Then to find out how the world would be entirely flooded with Alzheimer's in 2050 was no happy thought, either. At the moment, she felt as if she were on shaky ground.

Kat closed her eyes, put her forearm over her eyes. The next thing she knew Parker was waking her up.

"Hey," he wanted to know how she was. Naturally, she told him she felt awful. Just awful about the flu shot, and then he had to say how he never had one and really wouldn't start them now.

"Do you think you'd be up for a potluck on Friday?" He questioned. She felt his weight next to her.

"I don't want cook anything." She hated to whine about it, but at this rate she was afraid the smell of boiled water would make her throw up.

"You don't have to. The library staff wants to meet you." He told her.

"Are you serious?" She winced so sour.

"Look the less you make about it, the better it will be." He sighed. "Now stop making more of this whole, what ever it is your worried about. You shouldn't give a damn what anybody might think."

"All right." She whispered. "Just make me soup. I want soup."

She was going to be very still. And hoped tomorrow would be better than right now. And the next day would even be better.

who does these things

2009-09-20T10:17:00.002-05:00

"Well, how come you didn't tell us? We weren't invited." One of the ladies at the circulation desk teased Parker about his new marriage. "We didn't even know if you liked women."

Parker just stared at them even lipped. He was a bit shocked, but he didn't say anything. He didn't know what they wanted him to say.

"I guess," He cleared his throat. "It was a little unexpected. But it was painless." He gave them a quick grin and wished they'd shut up about it. They would have never have known if the damn director hadn't sent an e-mail about it, and now he wished he'd never had to change his address and personal info in the register.

"Shouldn't we have a wedding shower for him?" Nel looked to Windy.

"No. No. We have everything we could possibly need." Parker wouldn't hear of that.

"There has to be something."

"Oh, but there isn't. Really." He thought of Kat and how she might feel about this. She would be furious with him.

"Can we meet her then."

"Well."

"You didn't marry by proxy or something?" Nel questioned.

"Proxy?"

"You know, like she might be in Iraq and you're here. Is she a soldier?"

Parker just glared at her. Who did these women think he was? First they thought he was gay. Now they thought he'd married someone who might as well have been a man.

"She works for the school system." He'd leave it at that. They didn't need to know everything. "Look, the next library lunch we have, I'll try to bring her."

"Well, then we'll have a lunch in your honor," Nel smiled. "We haven't had a potluck in ages."

Parker thought his stomach might fall on the floor. He knew Kat wouldn't be eager to do this, but what the hell.

it could be possible

2009-09-19T05:08:00.003-05:00

Archie was afraid Emily might need a vacation from the honeymoon.

"You're sure you're not sick?" He looked at her intensely back at their room on their honeymoon.

She was practically listless in bed.

She shook he head, no. It scared him though. Maybe taking her out in the ocean wasn't his best idea, but what could he say, "I always wanted to." Plus there was this trust issue he was pondering a bit. Perhaps, it was idea she didn't have much faith in him. Did she just think she'd be the one who'd call all the shots and tell him what to do?

It wasn't something he wanted to argue about. Even so, he thought she might be a wee bit of a control freak. Not that it had bothered him before. Usually, he had a way of laughing his way through it. Then it would stump her and well, all would be well. So to speak. But now he thought she might be physically ill.

"You look pretty bad, " he winced. She wasn't wearing makeup. It was as if she didn't have her real face on. Actually, he liked her better without makeup. He didn't want to tell her, but she was a little scary when she put on too much. "Can I get you anything?" Maybe her blood sugar was low or something.

"I'm just tired." She got comfortable on her pillow.

"We didn't have that much sex, did we?" He'd always pictured a honeymoon meaning sex nonstop. Of course, three times in a row a night was just considered a home run in his book.

He rubbed her back and before he knew it she was snoring lightly. Archie smiled. And she said she didn't snore. He thought about getting out his camera phone just to record it. But he didn't want to get her mad.

Archie hoped they'd had a good honeymoon. They'd walked practically all over the island, gone horseback riding, dancing, dinners, a little shopping and a good bit of time in their room. But there was this doubt that perhaps what he perceived as fabulous might have been just crap to her. He might never really know.

He laid there on his side by her with his cheek resting on his hand and watched her slumber. He smiled thinking this might be his favorite part of the whole trip. Just the quiet. The calm. Maybe things were going to be perfect, and he didn't know it.

how it goes

2009-09-17T14:48:00.002-05:00

Charlotte was trying to figure this out about the whole Rachel and Gordy thing with the kids.

"How are they going to squeeze in a wedding?" Well, it really wasn't her problem. She was glad it wasn't her problem. "I'll try to do what I can on weekends with Jane and Lucy, but you know I can't always because I have to work." She wasn't even sure if Rosco was listening to her. As it was he was really in deep with some online issues for a class he was taking. He was trying to rent some books or something. She thought she heard him say.

"We'll figure something out," he mumbled with a Sharpie marker in his mouth. He was old fashioned that way. Still always having to write down things in his little notebook. She wanted to say, can't you copy and paste in notepad, but it would do no good. For someone wanting to learn about computers it seemed to her he'd know something about that kind of thing. He typed with one finger on each hand too. "Maybe my Mom could help."

"Your Mom, she's not exactly their grandmother, you know." Charlotte squinted more as she thought about the awkward situation. "Really, Rachel has to face the fact, she can't have her cake and eat it too, you know."

"What cake?" Rosco looked at her then.

"Devil's food." She smirked as he hadn't a clue where this conversation was going.

"If Gloria and your Dad are moving back like you said, I bet she'd do it. She'd be great with the girls." Charlotte sighed as she went to draw something for the winter reading program. It would be here before she knew it.

"Don't worry so, all right." He looked at her then as he was thinking about what he needed to write down.

"I'm not. Really, I'm not worried. Its just Rachel has this way of making you feel you should have done something when you didn't even have too. She's like that, you know."

"How come you're friends with her?" He stopped what he was doing and went over to look at her ice palace she was sketching.

"Because its easy. She so needs to have some one who has to organize what she's throwing about. But I really think we'll be married before they are." She told him.

"How's that?"

"Because I won't make a big deal out of it. That's why. And I'd want us to save our money. I don't think Rachel thinks like that." She shook her head.

"We have not talked about this stuff." Rosco shook his head.

"We talk about Rachel all the time." She told him.

"No, the marriage stuff." Rosco squinted.

"Its not like I'm in a rush. But you know, I want to. I love this family and I'd just like it to be official one day." She shrugged.

"Oh." He went back to his computer then. She watched him, wondering if this was as good as it might get for proposing. She could not see him doing it. She smiled.

show me the side streets of your life

2009-09-16T12:54:00.005-05:00

show me the sidestreets in your life
train yards like boneyards sharpened knives
sidewalks are unassuming fields
concrete and cracks won't cut you deals
lost teeth like white jewels of some kind
petty theft for penny crimes
and we yell
ahh like a good old fashion nightmare

riding trains to the end of lines
still we've got nothin but time
the skyline looks brighter tonight
lets go smash out every light
your left foot in front of right
and we yell
ahh like a good old fashion nightmare
matt&kim

Gordy could see Rachel was at her wits end. She was pacing when he got home. She'd been on the phone with her mother. She was close to tears.

"What happened?" He looked at her as if he didn't want to let her out of his sight. "Is it the baby?"

"No." She scowled. "Its my Mom."

"Is she OK?" He glared at her waiting for the worst.

"She just lets the girls do whatever they want, evidently, when they are over there." She sighed. "If I were to do that, she'd be all over me. I can't say a thing."

"What do you mean?" Gordy winced.

"She lets them go outside when the neighbor kids are out. She says they'll be fine." Rachel shook her head. "I didn't know she'd just let them go out like that. I don't think she's keeping an eye on them."

"Well, she probably is." Gordy couldn't see her ignoring them.

"She says this neighbor lets her little girls out and well, I guess maybe she thinks the Mom is watching them, but according to Jane, I don't think so." She hugged herself. "Now I feel like I'm in a fix about this. You know, the girls want to go. She wants them over."

"I don't want them over there if they aren't supervised." Gordy shrugged. End of story.

"Good." Rachel smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "Then you'll take care of it for me."

Gordy looked at Jane. He supposed she'd just have to be his spy and report everything to him. Maybe if they kept this up she'd be a detective some day, or probably a police officer. She was very good at telling people they needed to obey the law.

room to roam

2009-09-15T15:25:00.004-05:00

Rachel was dragging. She so wished Gordy was home, but he was at work.

"I have to lay down," she told Jane.

"Can we go out side?" She asked first thing which Rachel was shocked to hear.

"No, when do you ever go outside when we get right home?" She was thinking of the playground which was a few blocks away which meant a major undertaking these days with a stroller and a bag of goodies for an occasion that might arrive. They did these adventures over the summer after dinner, but it was turning dark earlier now.

"Grandy lets us play outside all the time." Jane told her matter of fact. Naturally, Rachel had to remember who they called Grandy. It was Rachel's mother. Lately, they had let them go on weekends to stay with her. "We play on the street. There's Mandy, and Jessie and Gavin too."

These were people Rachel had never heard of. Rachel's wince as she laid on her side on the couch. This was just getting crazy. "Who are they?"

"Our friends." Jane explained. "Gavin rides his bike and plays with the big kids."

"You're not going off with the big kids, are you?" She had no idea how big the kids were. She wasn't sure if she liked the idea that her mother was letting them play on the street.

"Its fun," Jane shrugged. "We could play on the balcony."

"NO." Rachel looked at her as if she'd lost it. Immediately, she could see one of them falling off of it. She shivered to think of something so horrible. She sat up hugging herself. They needed a bigger place than the apartment. But she wasn't sure she wanted to move somewhere so the girls could roam the neighborhood, either. And it was just going to get worse, wasn't it? When their sibling was born. "Look, I'm really not feeling well." She got both of them in front of her. "I'm going to need you two to help me." They both nodded. Waiting for her to tell them what to do.

"I want you to go and get out your drawing paper and markers. Come back here to the coffee table and draw me a picture of the kind of house you want to live in. Then after you do that, and if you don't fuss, I'll let you watch the new Tinkerbell DVD I brought home from the library." Rachel sighed and laid back down.

She was really going to have to stay on top of this. It was never ending. She supposed she could get soup and sandwiches ready while they watched the dvd, then they could help with the dishes and vacum, by then it would be bathtime then storytime. Rachel just hoped she had the energy to get this all done.

"Can I call Gavin?" Jane had to ask before she could get resettled.

"I don't think so." Rachel didn't want this to start.

"But I told him I would."

"Well, you're not." Rachel refused to even let her near the phone. "You are not old enough to start that kind of thing." Rachel yawned. "Please, just draw your picture."

Rachel closed her, thinking she'd never let them go over to her mother's again. But of course, she listened to Jane talk about how she couldn't wait to see Gavin again.

Rachel squinted. She went to her cell then. She was going to have to talk to her mother about this mystery. Gavin. She hoped he wasn't in grade school.

sand and sea

2009-09-14T12:18:00.005-05:00

Now that it was done, the wedding, Emily thought maybe she could get something done.

"But we're on our honeymoon," Archie said. At least he looked better now, and she had him slathered in sun screen. Really, he was her baby. She had to accept that fact. But she was not going to cut his meat up for him.

As it was she was busy looking through catalogues about things they should have at their new place which possibly needed as much flipping as his parent's home.

"We should be home, painting." She told him.

"That'll come later." He took the catalogue from her. "Haven't you had enough of that? We did watch Design Star last night on HGTV. We know who won."

"I didn't want that guy to win." She looked up at him.

"Well, like either one of them is going to show up at our place and tell us what we need to do. Forget about this stuff." She notice a different pitch in his voice. What was that suppose to mean? She looked at him. He pulled her toward him. After all they were by the ocean. You could hear the waves from here. "Lets have some fun." He wouldn't say sex, and didn't say love, but she got the jest of it when he kissed her.

They strolled along the beach then, and she wished she'd had a chance to put her hair up, but it would have probably whipped out of a ponytail. She looked at him wondering if she was spoiling this occasion for him. She promised herself she wouldn't. But how come everything had to be so overwhelming to her, and she could never decide what to do first.

OK, so maybe having the TV on with Martha Stewart while having intercourse, possibly was not a good thing. It wasn't until then, after he turned off the TV and put on a CD, that she figure out how amazing Archie could be in bed if he was listening to the Gorillaz. Or maybe it was her. He said it was her. Then they had quite a discussion about that which was defeating the purpose. So finally they put the CD back on and went back at it for at least three more songs. That was last night. And today had started off with a rough beginning. She would have thought as long as she'd known him, they'd have all this figured out.

"You were never like this at home." He told her now on their walk. "It was like you wanted your mother to hear everything we did in your room. I knew you were faking it, most times." He confessed.

"I was not." She scowled.

"I barely let out a sigh, and you're all, don't do that, somebody can hear us," he winced. "We're in a bungalow, for Christ's sakes." Of course, they wouldn't have had the place if it hadn't been for someone that he worked with who said they could use it for a week in the Carribean. It was a rather band-aid budget of a honeymoon and yet they'd made it out of the country.

"Why are you so scared?" He wanted to know. "Are you afraid I can't take care of you?"

She didn't want to hear that.

"Come on, lets go into the ocean." He pulled her toward the waves. "Its not like I'm going to take you scuba diving and let the sharks have at you."

She hesitated. Yes, the ocean made her nervous. It was so unknown to her, especially, living in the Midwest.

"Lets go back to our room." She told him even lipped, but he pulled her toward the water.

"Aw, you don't trust me." His impish grin didn't help much.

"Well, you're not exactly Michael Phelps, you know."

"Hahaha, you're still teasing me about that. That old lady at the airport. She thought I was. She even said I was better looking than him." He grinned, tugging her toward him, backing into the waves.

She closed her eyes. Maybe if she thought he was Michael Phelps, then she could get through this. She knew what he really wanted. It was their little secret. And what stayed in the ocean would probably get washed up on the sand, sooner or later.

what else is new?

2009-09-12T01:25:00.002-05:00

Fish was sleepy when he got home from school. He had an ache in his back that he didn't know how it got there. Dead center as if a stone was weighing him down on his back. And Bella wanted him to watch Gib.

"I really think I need to sit this one out, babe." He yawned.

"Maybe he should go to daycare." She yawned too while she was making a salad for dinner. Soup and salad. Of course, Fish would have been happy with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"Huh? Now you want to send him to daycare?" Fish shook his head. First she wasn't going to let anyone breathe on him. Now she wanted Gib to socialize.

"Well," she yawned even harder. "You know maybe a few times a week. Like when I go to the doctor's office and they run all those tests. Its most of the morning." Bella reminded him.

He nodded.

"OK." He didn't even want to argue about it. He just couldn't stop yawning. It was contagious. "I'd say, I'd take him right now so I could get some sleep, but its too late for that."

He sipped on his milk, wishing he could ask for a back rub. But that might not get him much. Other than having to wash the dishes.

"So how is school, really?" Bella asked as she put out the potato soup and the French bread.

"Fine." He shrugged. He didn't want to talk about school. School was like another world. All that existed was the inner workings of what went on with budgets, books, teachers and kids. And of course, the lunchroom food. He would leave it behind each day only he had papers to grade. Couldn't he figure out an easier way? He still pondered.

"No, no, whats going on? You know, anybody pregnant, getting divorced, having an affair. That kind of thing." Bella waited.

"I don't know any of that stuff." He shook his head.

"You never talk about me?" She looked at him so seriously as if he were hiding her from the public.

"No." He yawned again and managed to dip his bread in his soup. He glared back at her. "What do you want me say? I live with a pop star."

Bella scowled then.

"I just don't have time in the day to gossip." He shook his head. "I have to read over lesson plans and listen to the head of the department talk about crap he did twenty years ago that has little to do what goes on in the classroom."

"You're such a professional." She picked at her salad.

"Absolutely," he said so seriously, and then he cracked up laughing.

its a party

2009-09-11T02:29:00.003-05:00

Gordy felt a little off being here alone with the girls at the coffee shop without Rachel. But they each had their apple pie and ice cream and were being so lady like. Even Serena came out and told them how grown up they were.

Naturally, Jane beamed.

"I have a birthday. Lucy does too," she informed them. "And we want a party."

Gordy had heard this one. Each one wanted their own party. Own theme. And he was sure Jane had decided for Lucy what she wanted. Gordy kept smiling because he had a feeling he wouldn't if he listened to her closely.

"I want a big party for all three of us." She told Serena.

"Who's the third?" Serena looked at Gordy.

"Not me," he shook his head.

"Mommie, me and Lucy."

Gordy slightly coughed.

"Well, you know, uh, she might really want her own party. We could just have it for the two of you." He thought he was following this, correctly.

"No, that way we can have grow-ups and Mom can come." Jane had it figured out.

"Mom?"Gordy squinted. "OK, you mean, Bella." He really didn't see that happening. "You know, there have been a lot of plans, lately. Weddings and all. Its been so busy, I dunno."

"We're gonna do it." Jane got Lucy to nod.

Gordy kept smiling. He guessed he had no choice in the matter. Just then Serena brought over pictures of birthday cakes. She told them to pick one and she'd make it for them. Jane smiled at Lucy. Immediately, they went for the princess theme cake.

"You better hope you're gonna have a girl, Gordy." Serena looked at him. "Other wise I'm afraid he'll be in the same boat you're in."

Gordy just squinted, crossing his arms. They didn't always get their way. Of course, it wasn't worth mentioning, either.

first time

2009-09-10T03:14:00.003-05:00

Kal had never done this before. It was strange, but he wanted to be there for Whitney. Wanted them to know that yes, he couldn't wait for his wife to have their baby. He was all grins and perhaps giddy.

If they'd just stop those darn surveys. How much alcohol did he consume? Was he a smoker? Did he keep a gun in the house? Was he feeling sad or depressed? Well, that kind of ended the smiling.

Really, the big thing was to see it. In living color. That's what he was here for. They'd get to have the sonogram today. That was special. And if it all went well. He hoped it would. It had too. They'd go celebrate. Maybe a trip to the mall.

"But I don't want to go to the mall," Whitney said while they were waiting for the sonogram room. As it was she'd passed flying colors with the measurements and the weight gain. She was eating right.

"Why not?" He winced. "You love the mall."

"Not that much. I want to stay home."

"Come on," he smiled. "We have to enjoy this." He took her hand and smiled.

"I am. I just want to do it at home." She sighed. "I'm afraid. You know, sick people. Cars on the freeway." She pressed her lips hard.

"OK," he guessed he understood. It was getting to him what she was feeling. The worry. He didn't want her to worry. "I'm still getting you a chocolate sundae. Somewhere."

"You remember what she said about chocolate?" She looked at him.

"OK, a fancy yogurt then, with no chocolate." He kissed her hand. Finally, it was there turn for the sonogram room. And for the first time, Kal actually caught himself praying for someone else instead of himself. He guessed he really was growing up.

going to the doctor

2009-09-09T01:54:00.000-05:00

Whitney wasn't sure if things weren't happening fast enough or too quickly.

She and Kal went for her doctor's appointment. She looked around the waiting room at all the other pregnant women. Some looked like models while others looked like they could have triplets. Whitney supposed she was in the middle somewhere. She wasn't showing yet everything felt so tight on her. She wanted to work in her pajamas at work and the things she did have, well, they were things she could have slept in if she felt like it.

"I have a thing for chocolate." Some pregnant woman looked at Whitney and Kal. Whitney wasn't sure if she was talking about a sweet or something else. She looked like she was in her last trimester.

"OK." Whitney looked at her then Kal. People here automatically were so friendly to each other. Whitney wasn't used to that. She'd already watched some woman carry around her two year old on top of her pregnant stomach and was talking to someone about who was on the New Melrose Place. They had to watch if Ashley Simpson was on it.

Whitney just imagine the woman going into sudden birth with the child hugged up against her. Again, she was having freaky daydreams for no reason.

"Really, I do," the woman who was talking about chocolate found her a seat across from Kal and Whitney. "When I'm pregnant I can't stop myself. I ate three Hershey bars while I was grocery shopping, last time I was pregnant. I couldn't even remember how many I ate when I got to the checkout. The poor cashier had to count what he could of the wrappers in my cart. I gained so much weight then. I can't afford to do that, again. He was my first and well, I thought, I'm eating for two, why not. But now, my blood sugar is really bad." She sat across from Whitney and pulled out some knitting to do. She didn't have her son with her. He was with his Aunt.

"I have-" Whitney started about Bella, "I have a friend who has to worry about that too. Its her second time around. I mean third." Whitney gritted. Maybe she was having brain farts. It was really weird being pregnant. She kept forgetting to do things, lately. She'd even showed up at the wrong salon to get her hair done last week. Was she going to be like this for the next few months?

"Yeah, you can't be too careful in her condition. Somebody was telling me that diabetes kept her from getting pregnant." The woman went on.

Whitney looked at Kal thinking they were going to learn this woman's whole history an all her friends too, if the nurse didn't call them back soon.

anywhere feels like home

2009-09-08T03:54:00.002-05:00

daylight-matt&kim

Charlotte munched on the salsa that Rosco's Mom made. She was enjoying herself watching episodes of How I met your Mother with Rosco's mother.

"Have you heard from Rosco?" She asked.

"Not yet," she said. "I promised I would not text. We'll talk sometime around 11:30. I told him I'd call him then."

"Well, I don't know if Rosco would know what to do with a fish if he caught one." She laughed. "Funny, Rosco's Dad was from a family who fished all the time. His grandfather was in fishing tournaments every weekend."

"I guess that's a lot of fish." Charlotte said crunching on a chip. She could only think of fish sticks. Really, she wasn't fond of them, that much. It was her father's favorite thing to pop in the oven along with tater-tots.

"Rosco might come back the fisherman." She told her, and Charlotte just smiled. She looked at the clock then. It was getting close to phone time. She drank some water and said she had to go and call him.

"You don't mind, do you? Did you want to talk to him?" Charlotte grabbed her cell that she'd kept tucked away in her denium hand bag.

"No, I wouldn't want to spoil the call." His mom smiled and went back to the laughter on television.

Charlotte raced up-stairs and plopped herself on the bed as if she had to get situated first before she hit direct dial.

"Whatcha doing?" She said first thing. Charlotte smiled when she heard his voice.

"Its not so bad," Rosco said. "I have a bit of a sunburn. But its not that bad."

"It better not be. I gave you plenty of sun screen. You just have to keep applying it." She informed him.

"I don't have you here to put it on me," Rosco laughed. "I'm kind of tired, too." He then yawned.

"How's your Dad?"

"Dad, I guess." There was a silence. "He did make chili. He put in three jalapeno peppers in it from his garden. Let me tell you, it was the hottest chili I've ever had."

"God, your Mom just made salsa. He left her some peppers so I know how hot they were." She told him.

"I guess I'm OK with my parents now." Rosco said.

"OK?"

"You know, at first when they separated I kept thinking, they should get back together. Then after-while I was so over him and not ever wanting to see him again. Don't know why I was like that. I guess you just have to go through that, you know. Now, its like I know its better this way, for everyone."

"Good." Charlotte found herself smiling. She longed for the sound of his voice. She didn't want to tell him how scared she was that he was bored with her and that she was afraid he might tell her he needed a change. She didn't like change. In fact, it had taken her so long to get to this with him that she wasn't sure she could bare it if he decided she had to go.

She listened about his day with his father. Somehow, she didn't fear the unknown so much. She was happy he had a good day. She couldn't wait for him to be home. It didn't really feel like home unless he was here with her.

roadtrip

2009-09-07T01:45:00.002-05:00

Well, here they were.

First Rosco thought he might have a panic attack. You know, like maybe his dad would be a no show. Well, he hadn't ever showed up for that many things of his. Like games and school programs even when he was around. It was expected of him. Rosco thought it might turn out that way.

"Oh, no, of course not." He had been holding this campsite since last year.

"Woo, well, who were going to to go with?" It couldn't have been him. Seriously.

"Actually, it was Fred's idea." His Dad told him on their drive to the lake. "He had it in mind. Then he got sick so I went ahead and made the reservation and well, he's not with us, anymore."

Rosco looked out the window unsure of what that meant exactly.

"So, I talked it over with his wife and she said, you know, it would be a good way for me to remember him if I went anyway. And you know, I never did take you fishing like I promised." He looked over at Rosco who finally looked at him. Suddenly, it felt so hard to swallow. Rosco thought he might pass out.

"I guess you and Fred go way back?" Rosco managed to say.

"Kind of." His Dad sighed. "We worked together out at the airport. He never had any kids. Talked about his dogs an awful lot, like they were his kids. I remember him saying, why don't you ever talk about your kids? I just couldn't make him understand I'm a private person, you know."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Rosco thought he did.

"Lot of good it did me." His Dad kept driving and they drove in silence for the longest while until they got to the cabin.

"You think you'll like it here?" He asked Rosco once they got situated inside.

"Yeah, its really cool." Rosco had never been to any place quite this quiet and rustic. It was off the beaten path. Not even a state park in fact. Somewhere in the hills of Iowa.

sure enough

2009-09-06T03:27:00.001-05:00

"What was I suppose to tell you?" Evidently, Parker was in deep shit with his Mom over this wedding. "I didn't think you cared." They were on the phone in the bedroom. Why had he called them in the first place? Had he truly lost it this time? They were in Virginia as it was, and they weren't exactly speaking to him nor his brother. They just weren't what they'd expected. Both were suppose to be in the military having a glorious officer's life. He supposed.

"I told you I was seeing someone." He'd left it at that months ago. His mother hadn't pried too much information out of him. At least he wasn't gay. Thank God. They certainly weren't speaking to Jace.

"But married. You married her?" This was unheard of, evidently. Parker listened to his mother's voice. It was if she was going to get him to therapy, this time or else. As it was, he never took any of the medication they wanted him on. It wasn't like he was a terrorist on the lose or anything. He'd never been quite as annoying as his mother had thought to believe.

"Yes, didn't I just tell you?"

"Don't you dare have that attitude with me, young man." She snapped.

"I thought you'd want to know." He didn't want her to know anymore. She might actually have a heart-attack or something if he told her the rest. He wanted to apologize for calling, but he didn't. He was finished with his family. All their tight rules and guidelines to a successful life. He hung up on her then.

Parker was glad he'd started his own family. It would never be quite as precise as the one he'd left behind.

out on a limb

2009-09-05T01:30:00.003-05:00

Kat hated to see her sister all alone.

"I shouldn't have told you," Christine sighed when they got back and Christine got into the red wine. All Kat could do was watch. "I'm perfectly capable of having my own life."

"I know, its such a shock. You're so much stronger than me." Kat told her sister as they sat on the couch together reminsing about 80's music and how great Devo and Adam Aunt were.

"No, I'm not." Christine looked at Kat as if she was crazy. "I think we know who the strong one is here. You're having a baby."

"Crazy more like it." Kat shrugged.

"Suppose."

"I forgot to ask, have you heard from Mom?" Kat thought she might see if she could tell her the news.

"Kind of." Christine said. "I got a post card. Good thing I didn't move. I guess she's all right. I hope so. I mean, its impossible to know if she's, you know, losing her mind or not. I don't know. It was a post card with sunflowers. Do they have sunflowers in Canada?"

"Yes."

"Well, she's having a glorious time where ever she is." Christine sipped her wine.

"She's a free spirit. Amazing she even had time for us at all." Kat crossed arms then not sure what to think of their mother, the world traveler, evidently.

"Did that ever bother you?" Christine wanted to know.

"No." Kat shook her head. "After Dad died and she went to Maine to help with that friend of his, I just thought, that's Mom. And then she just kept going to see this friend in Florida or California. I don't exactly know where the money came from, but she liked taking care of people."

"Well, I'd like for her take care of me, you know." Christine finally expressed.

"No, you wouldn't." Kat didn't believe her. "We're the ones who should be taking care of her. And I feel like the worst daughter in the world that I can't even find her."

more sighs

2009-09-04T02:15:00.002-05:00

"You weren't there," Rachel said to Rosco who still looked a little out of it. He had himself a plate of tatter-tots smothered in chili and cheese and was making himself comfortable in front of The Watchman.

He acted like he didn't really hear her. Thankfully, Gordy said. "You know he's been sick."

Rosco wanted to say, "I'm just sick of everything." But the didn't. Instead he told Gordy about his planned fishing trip with their Dad. He kept smiling, hoping something was true there. In all honesty it scared him to death to have to spend a weekend with his Dad. Alone.

It wasn't that he was worried that his Dad would do anything to him. It was the silence. There would be a silence because it was a struggle to think of anything to say. And here he was jabbering away. Wishing he could say, "I wish you were Dad." But he didn't.

"It'll be fun." Gordy sat down with him, ate a cheesy tatter-tot.

"I wish you were coming." Suddenly Rosco didn't feel like eating.

"Can't, gotta work." Gordy shrugged. "You guys will be fine."

"Yeah, sure." Rosco sighed.

"Want to take Jane along," Gordy laughed.

"Could we?" Rosco begged.

"No. She's a little girl. Believe me as much as she talks, the fish would run away." Gordy told him.

Rosco nodded. A good reason he wouldn't have to talk to his Dad, after all.

a silly thing like that

2009-09-03T02:02:00.004-05:00

"I didn't think you cared much if we got married or not." Gordy had given Rachel the engagement ring as if it were to suffice something at work. Oddly, he had not thought of a wedding. Actually, he just didn't really like them.

OK, could be getting stood up at the church wedding with Bella. Lord, he'd just soon forget about that. It felt like a century ago when actually it wasn't. Not really. And he'd been too young to get married then. Maybe he was now, too. Wasn't like he was financially put together, now was he?

"Well, I haven't given up completely on the institute of marriage." Rachel walked with him to Kal's to get the girls.

"I thought you were kicking and screaming to that last one." He slyly grinned as he had his arm around her.

"It was my mother's idea that I marry Andy. She wanted it all, you know, her way." She shrugged. "It wasn't like we had a wedding. It was you know, the justice of the peace, kind of thing."

"You don't want to go down that road again." Gordy sighed.

"I dunno." Rachel frowned. "If it would be easier."

"You know, Jane will expect to be the flower girl. And Lucy too." He told her. He touched her nose.

"I know." Rachel shook her head. "Its just what Jane said. She thinks you have the baby first before you get married."

"That's not a bad idea." Gordy shrugged. "Well, right now, anyway."

"My grandmother would have a fit if she knew." Rachel looked at him.

"Well, somebody has to have a fit, somewhere, now don't they?" Gordy smiled. "As long as its not you." He quietly laughed then.

a little can go a long way

2009-09-02T03:56:00.003-05:00

This was not the way Emily wanted to spend her wedding day. In the emergency room. She felt out of place in all the white walls and curtains of the emergency ward. She supposed it helped that Archie knew some of the folks that worked around there. They were all laughing. He was laughing too. Everyone was laughing but her.

She so wanted to have a fit, but she didn't. She did her best to remain as calm as possible. Some honeymoon this was going to be. His chin and eye all swelled up. At least they were going to give him a shot.

"You should be good as new in about twenty-four hours or so." The doctor said.

Emily winced at that. She supposed she was satisfied. Emily sat there thinking about her Aunt Christine telling her about a cousin that Emily hadn't seen since she was five. She was going to have a baby.

"She's not getting married until after she has the baby." Emily remembered her saying. Here Emily was married, and who really cared in her family. Her father's parents certainly didn't. Of course, her mother had gone over this with her that she'd just had a graduation.

She wasn't sure why she was expecting so much. She should have known it would be this way. She should have known anything that happened to her would never be perfect. But then she looked up and saw a girl, who was a burn victim. It was as if her face stood still. She couldn't even move her mouth. It was so surreal to witness. It was worse than any scene from a horror film.

Suddenly, Emily found herself in tears. It wasn't so much about her wedding day. But the fact that she was so weak. Really, it was true. If anyone was courageous it was the girl with the melted face. Or maybe it was Archie for having to put up with her.

"Are you all right," he asked when she stepped in the room finally.

"Yes, of course."

She asked the doctor if it would be all right if he had a milkshake, and he said that might not be a bad idea. Emily smiled. It was OK if they didn't get off to the beach today. She'd be happy with ice cream.

in the midst of the evening

2009-09-01T01:06:00.000-05:00

Kat felt bad that Emily nor Archie didn't get to hang around for the good times at the wedding. It was quite relaxing. Then to have her sister there, even made it better. Naturally, Christine was making over and teasing her about being pregnant at her age.

"Enough," Kat told her finally. "I don't want to hear it. Not from you."

"I'm just trying to get you ready for the next nine months," Christine smiled. "Oh God, and then it gets worse."

"Shut up." They giggled as if they were the only two who could say these sort of things to each other.

"I just wish you could drink a bottle of champagne with me." Christine shrugged.

"Yeah, well, I'm glad I can pass on that." Kat sighed. "That stuff gives me a headache, anyway."

"You were fun, at one time."

"I still am." Kat looked over at Parker and smirked.

Along came Bella with a plate a fresh strawberries and watermelon, blueberries too.

"Bella, when are you going to have that baby?" Christine asked.

"Can't be soon enough," she yawned.

Christine hugged herself and looked around at all the pregnant women. "I swear there must be something in the water. I best not be drinking any of it."

Bella and Kat smiled at each other.

"You know, that would be funny if you got pregnant too." Kat nudged her sister.

"Are you kidding me!" Christine shook her head, no. That's when she told Kat that she'd separated from her husband.

like a merry-go-around

2009-08-31T02:10:00.004-05:00

It was all rather impromptu. No matter how many weeks were involved in getting the wedding set. Rachel hoped her wedding to Gordy never turned out like this one.

Of course, Jane and Kat's sister gave Kat away. Then Jane once again had to prance down the isle with rose petals as the flower girl when the real wedding started. Rachel knew she'd regret ever agreeing to let Jane take over the wedding like this. Of course, she couldn't tell anyone that this was going to go to Jane's head. According to Jane she thought Emily was suppose to swing down from a huge swing in the back yard to make an entrance, like a trapeze act.

"This isn't the circus, you know." Rachel informed her.

"I know. Its a wedding. You're suppose to have the baby anyway, before you get married. And Emily doesn't have one." This really got to Rachel when Jane told her this. She was certain of it now. She wanted to marry Gordy before she had their baby. Just because Jane was getting it all wrong. Wasn't she?

Of course, the worst part came when a wasp got in the daisy chain around Emily's head during the ceremony. She didn't get stung, but Archie got stung on the chin and the eyelid too. They had to go to the emergency room afterwards because Emily was afraid Archie was allergic to wasps even if he said he wasn't. His face swelled up so they didn't get too many wedding photos.

"Well, we're certainly not having our wedding in any-one's back yard," Rachel decided.

"What do you mean?" Gordy winced as if it was the first he'd heard about them having any wedding.

"I dunno." Rachel sighed as she ate shrimp cocktail as if she was pleased to have it. "I just want something real simple, you know." She looked around at all the chairs in the yard. A buffet was set out, but it wasn't a real dinner. There was nothing sit down about it. "But not this."

Jane was really putting the pressure on her. She wanted to be the flower girl at every wedding she went to now, and Lucy too.

one more thing

2009-08-30T01:53:00.003-05:00

Christine was here. Emily's only relative from out of town. Of course, her father wasn't here which she didn't even care, anymore. She was tired of leaving him messages, and now that her Mom was pregnant it would be pretty much impossible to even think of him ever showing his face around here.

At least, it was sunny out. A beautiful day for a wedding. And there was even a hint of fall in the air so it wasn't horrible outside. Now if that pesky wasp would stay away by those silly flowers that Bella planted right out the back door, everything might be perfect.

The white flowing tent was set up. Chairs all in line with the white cushions. It was a small gathering. Just the usual. Naturally, her so called extended family. Thanks to Bella. She supposed. There were a few from where she worked who came for the wedding and more showed up from where Archie worked than she ever imagined. Even people back from Omaha. She wasn't expecting so many. Some would have to stand.

"Mom, why aren't you wearing white?" Emily looked at her mother in the summery lavender dress that hit just at her knees. She looked better than she had all week. Naturally, Dan had made her up and perhaps he had ways of covering the dark shadows under her eyes.

"Because I'm not the bride," her mother informed her.

"Oh, but you are," Emily told her. "I decided last minute. You and Parker go first. Say your I do or whatever and we'll go next. Kind of like the pre-show."

"A pre-show?" Her mother wasn't to happy about that.

"Well, I know you don't have a license or anything, but you know, its a wedding. OK." Emily hoped she didn't say anything that would change her mom's mind on this. Archie had talked Emily into it. She guessed he was right. It was the right thing to do.

She looked at herself in the mirror one last time. She love the flowy vintage dress. She was happy to have daisies in her hair, and it was good to know her mother hadn't given up marriage and neither had she.

here we are

2009-08-29T00:15:00.002-05:00

"We aren't going to Emily's wedding, are we?" Charlotte knew Kal and Whitney were getting ready because they were mainly going to look after Gib.

Rosco sat on the couch as if the cartoon on Cartoon Network was very important to him.

"I hadn't planned on it." He shrugged.

"I didn't think so," she sighed. "But I was thinking maybe I could bring Gib back here, and Jane and Lucy as well."

"But Jane's in the wedding," Rosco sighed.

"Well, maybe we could be there for the ceremony. Then I could bring them back here. You could help."

"I don't really want to." He looked a bit sleepy. She supposed he was right, probably still sick. A little.

"I thought you were all right with Emily and Archie?" She winced sitting nest to him and toying with the nap of his neck.

"I am." He sighed.

"Then what is it?"

"Nothing." He looked as if he'd lost something though. Charlotte wasn't sure what it could be.

"Are you upset with me?" She frowned.

He shook his head, no.

"Emily wanted to marry me." He barely said.

"But she was sick then. Sick on getting married." Charlotte reminded him. "Its a good thing it didn't happen, now isn't it? You might be sick in the head to, if it had."

"Probably." He nodded.

"Is that what all this moping around is for?" She squinted taking his hand.

"You don't trust me." He finally let the words escape him.

"What?" She squeezed his hand then. "I do too."

"Well, you said, you know, that dream-"

"It was a stupid dream," she smiled. "Besides, it was Rachel's baby." She laughed then, hoping he'd laugh too. But he just stared at her as if she shouldn't have said it. She should have never said those words.

He shoved his hands in his jeans and went to the kitchen to get a drink of water. For a moment she thought he might be someone else and not the Rosco she was used too.

there's nothing like you and I

2009-08-28T06:49:00.000-05:00

Rosco wanted to tell her something she wanted to hear, but would it be enough?

He didn't know what Charlotte thought anymore.

So Emily and Archie were getting married. It seemed so far away now that Emily had wanted to marry him. And he was dumb enough to believe it then. He always thought it would remain true. The two of them together. He and Emily. Had it just been dumb luck? Was it not in the cards? What really made things happen?

Everywhere he looked things tended to fall apart, right in front of your eyes sometimes. Would it happen with Charlotte and he wouldn't even know. Maybe it was happening but he just didn't know it. He didn't like to have these fears. He shut his eyes tight not to think about them. Maybe it would go away. Haunt him on some other day.

His cell rang and he answered it as he was in the kitchen trying to drink the last of the milk. He still liked it when he got off work. He'd rather have that with five Oreo cookies than a couple of beers.

It was his Dad.

"Dad?" He was in a state of shock. Was it him? They hadn't really talked when he was here. Just too many people around he guessed.

His Dad talked up a storm about his Senior pictures. It seemed he was confused. He thought it was his Senior year of high school.

"No, I just graduated, Dad." Rosco smiled as he sat down at the kitchen table and leaned back in his chair as if he needed to unwind. "Those were taken last year. Not this year. Yeah, Mom took me to this little kid's place. It was kind of funny because all the girls that worked there really worked with me. Evidently, that don't get work with that many 17 year olds." Rosco chuckled. His dad couldn't remember how old he was, but Rosco didn't care. It was all right. He was on the phone with his dad.

"What? You really want to take me fishing labor day weekend?" That was a first. "We never went fishing? Just you and me?" Rosco was so happy he could cry. "I don't know, don't you think Gloria would want to come? Or maybe you'd want to see Gordy, or even Kal. Just me?" It made him a little nervous, but he wanted this too. He wanted to spend time with his Dad before it was too late.

are you kidding

2009-08-27T03:31:00.003-05:00

"Well, I don't know why you didn't call me when you decided to go to the furniture mart," Emily said so coldly as she looked at the leather couch set that Bella picked out for her livingroom. "Were you out of your mind?"

"You," Bella was building up some momentum in her voice as if she was ready for a fight with her sister. "You just don't get it." Bella gave her the evil stare.

"God, its always got to be about you, doesn't it!" Emily so wish they had boxing gloves. She'd show her sister a thing or two.

"Ladies, now ladies, lets try to be ladies, why don't we?" Fish stepped in with a smile, holding Gib all the while. "Its just furniture."

"Yeah, and its real comfy too." Archie set back on the couch, smoothed a place just for Emily. "Why don't you try it, Em?"

Emily was in a huff. It was just a few days before the wedding. Emily sat down hugging herself. The sofa wasn't quite as miserable as it looked.

"You know about Mom, don't you?" Bella took Gib then so he could sit her lap while he took a bottle.

"Well, I live with her, don't I?" Emily was back to glaring then.

"Then you know she's gonna have Parker's baby."

"Parker's baby?" Emily squinted hard.

"Get out of here!" Archie set up on his side of the couch then. "Are you serious? That's amazing!"

Emily just looked at him as if he was out of his mind.

"I can't believe you didn't know," Bella smirked.

"Its not like she tells me everything," Emily sighed. "I knew she was sick."

"Maybe you should ask her if she and Parker would want to join you two in the wedding." Bella suggested.

Archie's face said it all. As if he wished he'd thought it himself.

"Yeah!" He was happy with his big goofy grin.

Emily gave her sister a disgusting look. No way, she thought. No way.

just a thought

2009-08-26T03:55:00.003-05:00

"I was thinking," Parker said laying next to Kat in bed who was nursing some apple juice at the moment. It was the only thing she liked the taste of. Coffee made her ill, and one moment she loved scrambled eggs and the next moment she said she didn't. This baby business was mind boggling to him. And there were all these tests she had to be tested for.

"Thinking what?" She yawned.

"We should get married when Emily and Archie have their wedding." He shrugged.

"No." She shook her head. "Too late. I wouldn't dare ask her. She'd be crushed. She would."

"You could at least ask." Parker squinted.

"No, I will not ask. This is her baby."

"What?" He squinted harder as if she'd gone behind his back on this one. He'd thought of himself pretty handy in the bedroom there for a couple of months. He wouldn't admit it, but that was the most he'd ever had sex, and it was paying off, wasn't it?

"No!" She winced hitting him the arm. "The wedding. Its her wedding. And Emily is very particular about some things."

"You mean, she's like you?" Parker kept his arms crossed.

Kat cracked up in laughter and almost spilled her juice.

"God, I don't even know if I'm going to make it through this, you know." She shrugged.

"Then we should get married." He told her. "Now."

She sighed. He thought for a second... she wasn't going to fight him on this.

"Rub my back, will you," she then said. "I'll think about it."

just words

2009-08-25T01:34:00.003-05:00

"I know what you're thinking," Fish said before Bella could open her mouth as she stood there looking at the living-room. As it was he was in the middle of washing dishes. Housework was not Bella's favorite activity. And he didn't push it. He knew she was worried about so many things with the wedding, being pregnant, Gib. The list could go on and on.

"How are we going to let people in this house?" She had her hands on her hips. "This house is shit. I can't possibly keep it picked up until the wedding."

"You want new furniture." He was having his own conversation as he went back to scrubbing pots and pans.

"What?" Now she followed his words. She was right there in the kitchen with him. He knew she liked the sound of that, very much.

"Maybe we could just rent it." As it was they had a hodgepodge of junk from garage sales to picking up someone else's crap off the side of the road.

"No, no...you said new furniture." She reminded him.

"I dunno." Fish shook his head. As it was his green T-shirt with the word Lucky across his chest was half wet from the miserable sink.

"I want to look. I want to get out of the house and look. You know, see what we might be up against." She wrapped her arms around him and her stomach pressed against his lower back. The baby kicked him practically in the butt.

"All right, all right." What had he started? Get a new credit card, finally. and he knew it wouldn't be long til he'd be paying magnitude late fees.

She would finds something. He just knew. It was her job to find stuff for him to buy. Of course, it might take them another hour just to load everything up in the car to get to the Furniture Mart. It was never going anywhere fast with Bella and a baby. What was it going to be like when they had two? Then he thought of Jane. Would they even have room in the car for three in the back seat?

Fish just shivered. Welcome to the real world, he thought. It wasn't as much fun as the one on MTV.