Sunday, April 27, 2008

sliding by

Gordy felt himself fading fast. He was ready to be plastered into the couch holding Jane. He knew she needed to be in her crib, but she wanted to sleep on his chest.

She had an ear infection. Thankfully, Delia made the appointment and that was taken care of. He'd even been happy to see the waffles and blueberries. How could he forget the bacon? He still dreamed of her food.

He shook off the sleep and went to put Jane to bed. Hopefully, she'd let him sleep. He really needed to catch up. Now.

He went back to the couch. Hugged his pillow. He didn't want to give Jane a chance to stir if she knew he was in bed. They shared the same room. An awful thought came to mind. What if they were still doing this when she five or even fifteen? It left a bad taste in his mouth. Or maybe that was cole sore on the inside of his lip that was bothering him.

But he kept still. Thought of his mother. How he knew he should be grateful for everything she'd done, but he wasn't. Something still stung him about the whole incident at Walgreens when she showed up. He wasn't sure what it was. Maybe it was the way she looked at him, or was it the way she looked at Rosco?

What the hell was that about?

He heard her upstairs just then. She was home early or maybe it was that time of day for her to come in from the post office. He had no idea.

He got himself up then and went upstairs. Of course, she was no where insight. He'd wait for her in the kitchen. Grabbing the milk carton from the fridge, he took a drink. Gordy was famished.

He started to finish off the milk while standing there with the fridge open.

"You know the rules," his mother then said, catching him in the act.

"Fuck the rules." His stamach growled then. He was a bit perturbed with her. How dare she not care about Jane.

"You better get more milk then." She took off her sweater and heated the tea kettle.

"I'm calling in sick." He nodded.

"You can't just do that." She looked at him as if he didn't understand what he was doing.

"I can and I am." He shoved the empty milk carton back in the fridge and closed the door. He thought of what Delia had said about him going back to the University. It might not be easy, but there was a way. There was day care available, and he could get some really good financial aid in his situation. He'd just have to be willing to do it all. No help from his Mom. And she was making that rather easy, lately.

"You don't give a fuck about us. What do you care what I do?" He let in to her then. He wanted to scream about it, but he was to tired to start.

She made her tea. Poured him some, too. He sat down and pushed it away.

"Listen," she told him. "There's something I've been keeping from you." She sat there as if she really didn't want to tell him.

"What?" What could she possibly tell him now? That she was getting married. Moving away. She'd been a lesbian all this time. Nothing would shock him.

"I should have told you a long time ago." She sighed. "But you were never one who really dwelled on that kind of thing, growing up. You did good in school. You never asked. And I wanted to keep it that way."

"Keep what that way?" He was lost on this conversation. He yawned.

"Your father had another family." Her mouth moved but he didn't think it would be those words to come out.

"Like a wife and kids, that kind of family?"

"Yeah." She wouldn't look at him.

"You were just something on the side?" He always had his grandfather around. This was his little house. It had always been the three of them. Then he passed when Gordy was still in high school. He wondered if his grandfather ever knew this.

"Yeah." Her words almost broke into tears, but she kept very still.

"Mom, we're fine. Whats so important that I know now?" He hadn't ever thought much about him. Really.

"I should have told you." She was crying now.

"Its not a big deal. Really. " He assured her.

"But- but you were talking to your brother last night." She sniffed.

Gordy caught his breath. He wanted to laugh but he couldn't.

"Rosco?" He could hardly hear himself think. He was doing the math and how it all connected. "Why couldn't you have told me this, a long time ago? Especially, when Bella decided she wanted to be with Rosco's brother, who evidently, is mine, too?"

He got up then and kicked the chair away. "Where do you get off? Holding all this shit from me?" He scratched the back of his head and gave her a hard look. "Huh?"

He didn't wait for an answer. The baby was crying. He never liked to leave her in the baement. Alone.

2 comments:

The Bleeding Rose said...

O. M. G. I love this twist. Wow. Keep writing.

autumn said...

wow. so that's it. i can feel the tension. lol. thanks for sharing. =]