melting

Bella thought she'd melt when she heard her mother's voice.

Instantly, her voice cracked when all she could here herself say again and again, "Sorry."

"Do you want to come home?" Her mother asked.

Bella kept shaking her head, yes. Yes, she did, but she couldn't say it.

"You know, it might not be much better here," her Mom then said. "I haven't been myself with your Dad up and leaving like he did. He'd just had enough, I guess. First you. Then your sister. What did we do that was so wrong?"

"Mom, its not you." Bella wanted her to know. "Its not you."

"I'm really not sure where to go from here, but I could come and get you. You don't sound good at all. Have you been taking care of yourself?"

"Yes," she was choking on tears. She started to gag. She had to hand the phone over to Fish who was suddenly wide-eyed as he listened to her in the restroom.

"Uh, um, Bella will be right back," Fish said.

"Who is this?"

"Just uh a friend of Bella's." Fish stuttered slightly thinking he should say something else.

"Really, are you sure you're just a friend?"

"Yes, Mame," It felt like a lie, "She's doing really well, considering everything."

"Considering everything?"

"Oh, maybe that's something she can discuss with you," Fish said. "She just had to go to the bathroom."

There was a silence.

Finally the bathroom door opened. Fish handed her back the phone.

"Who was that?" Bella's mother asked.

"That's the man I'm going to marry." Bella announced.

Fish squinted hard as if he was about to have a brain fart. Now he disappeared to the bathroom.

"When?"

"When ever we get a chance too. I'd like to get married before the baby gets here. Actually." Bella told her.

"So you're marrying the baby's father?"

"No."

"Well, who's baby is it?"

"Mom, I don't want to get into this with you, all right. Things are different this time. I want to see Jane. I do. Its just I'm afraid if I'm there I'd want her so much and I can't do that to Gordy. I can't. I don't know if you could ever understand it. I don't know if I have the strength in me to go back and see her with him. It would just hurt so much. And I'm tired of feeling that way. I would need Fish with me if I came home." There it was settled. "Could you send us bus tickets?"