Tuesday, September 2, 2008

To Bella


I never wrote a letter before, except, maybe to my Mom on Mother's day in first grade. I was never very good with spelling.

Sorry, I have not called. I'll waste all my minutes if I start this stuff now.

I want you to know that I think you did the right thing. Going home. Sorry, I kept you here as long as I did. Anybody in their right mind would have tried to have gotten you home the next day, but no, it was like weeks and months. Shit. Good thing, you didn't think I was psycho cause you know, I really could have been.

I'm just a real fuckwad with this relationship shit. Sorry. It bugs me too. I wish I would wake up, grow up. I don't know. I guess I'm an old dog he can't learn any new tricks.

Its just I've got a stupid shit record with making the worst of it.

Usually, I just give up. But then I say a whole lot of shit just to make you more mad and well, I probably would have done that, but since you're in the condition you're end, I just couldn't. And I can't stop thinking I let the best thing go I should have hung on too.

Its just.....

You're there. I'm here. This can really fuck things up. I got a job here. All right, so it might not be what a rocket scientist would make salary wise, but its what I do best, and I grew up here. Except all my friends are gone.

But the thing is, I got this house. My Momma's house. I told her about you and me and she said I could have the house right now if I came and got you. But I'm thinking I should wait, you know, until the baby gets there and all. Plus, I have to learn to drive a car. Which I know is quite pathetic to admit. I'm still not sure I've got the guts to go clear across Oklahoma and Kansas just to get you.

But I'm working on it.

Thanks for making me feel like shit and making me want to do the right thing. Which I don't know if I should. Since the fathers of your babies live right there where you are, and I don't have any business really getting involved in all of this.

But I'll try to get my act together and you know, so you won't have to give up on me and all.

Until then,

Your Lover in Texas,



Cate said...

where are the spelling mistakes? lol. but it's kind of nice that fish wrote her a letter. if i was bella, i would get major guilt feelings if i read "thanks for making me feel like shit" and i would also be angry at fish. but that line "Your Lover in Texas", it's just the sweetest thing on earth... now i can't decide if i like Bella and Gordy or Bella and Fish better!!!

ellie said...

Fish. Finally. That's funny about learning to drive a car. The things he'll do for her.

victoria said...

Fish not driving? aw. that's cute :) haha.

UmassSlytherin said...

omg!!!!!! lol this is the best letter ever! :) I love it! so funny and cute! heheheh! :) well-done!

Anonymous said...

awww Fish! That was so sweet! <3

I almost cried... and I'm not ashamed of it :')

autumn said...

aw. i find it sweet, too. the letter. for sure, it would touch bella's heart.