At least Gibson seemed to know what he was doing. Or so Bella gave him the benefit of the doubt when it came to breast feeding.
"He's just using you as a pacifier." Her mother didn't like the fact Bella was practically sleeping while she was breastfeeding.
Truth be told, Bella's nipples felt so raw. She was afraid they were bleeding while Gibson nursed, but if he didn't she thought she was carrying sharp burning rocks inside her chest.
"Well, I don't know what to do," Bella just wanted her mother to leave her alone. They had to get out of here. She hated depending so much on her mother.
"Why couldn't you have found a doctor or something to fall in love with you when you were in Texas?"
Bella ignored her mother then. She just gave her mother a scowl so her mother would leave. She did.
"You want me to take him?" Fish offered. He had a baby bottle of breast milk with him.
"Maybe?" Bella felt helpless, "What if he's not getting anything out of me, or something."
"He looks pretty content to me," Fish smiled taking Gibson from her. "The first few days are the hardest." He said cradling Gibson close to him. Bella just sighed. "OK, maybe the first couple of weeks, but you're doing great."
Bella turned to her side away from him then. "Mom wants you to have a job."
"I'm looking, I'm going to find something. I promise." Fish just stroked Gibson's little bare head softly.
"Its going to be awful, isn't it?" She squinted then.
"We'll be fine. You'll see. Its gonna be all right." His fingers touched her back so slightly. She yearned for his touch.
"Do you know how bad I smell?" Bella was making herself sick.
"Go take a shower," Fish said. "I'll be right here with him."
The thing was Bella wanted Fish with her.