Monday, February 21, 2011

strange thoughts

Kal wished Whitney hadn't brought up the cold meds. Of course, it was she who had found them. Wondered, if something was up. OK, he was there when it happened. A minute, was all it would have taken to dispose of the evidence. He was meaning to.

He couldn't dare tell her that he still had these tendencies..to experiment.

He wondered if Whitney knew. The real him. She was bound too. But she'd thought it was Rosco who had done such a needy thing, crunch the over the counter meds in a little glass cup that she used for cooking.

Kal had forgot about it..until now. Why did he even bring it up. No. She did. Didn't she?

He didn't want to think what he was, what he could become. Everyone had their own little regrets..now didn't they? He was happy that both of his kids had turned out perfectly. Now that was over, why couldn't he have some fun..again. Experimenting.

Whitney had scared him that one time about the story on the news with the 'bath salts' how maybe it was some sort of cocaine that did bad things to the brain. Some college student had slit his throat in front of his parents. It disgusted Kal so. He was not like that. He wasn't.

He kissed Whitney then. Hoped he'd never think about such stupid shit, again. He hadn't bought any drugs in a long time. He wasn't going too. Especially, with the baby in the house. He loved his wife. He cherished this life. And yet an ugliness prevailed inside him. Sometimes, he just had to get away from the humdrum of life.

5 comments:

ellie said...

I dunno is Kal has changed much.

Through My Eyes said...

I just wish that Kal could identify himself, maybe then he could find a way to make sure, she did, or didn't know the "true" him.

cady said...

"I'd love you, but I love myself . . . and we'd serve you, but we serve ourselves."

That's what this made me think of.

Natalie said...

Re: *sigh* I know I should live a little and at least meet him... maybe... but I'm just terrified of the extreme awkwardness, haha! We'll see...

E.L. said...

I hope Kal isn't going to go back to drugs.