all alone

Gordy felt more than alone now. Maybe he'd been to short with Emily and Rosco. But they just didn't get it. They just didn't. How could they, young and in lust.

He'd been there. He knew how it was. He knew no one could have told him how things would have turned out with Bella. Of course, she was the only one. The one and only. His first and last lover.

He felt severed. Still. How could something so perfect go so wrong? How did he not know? Everything had gone so well. The year they met. The day she slipped him the note at lunch. She really liked him, and he would have done anything to be with her. Except, possibly wear a T-shirt with her face on it and Bella Forever under her picture. He'd found it at the Good Will a couple of months ago. Some poor sap finally gave it up.

Bella had a league of boyfriends. And it hadn't even woke him up to the fact that this might not last. Then. It just went on. And on. And then there was the band. And she went everywhere with them. And then the sex finally happened. Then she got pregnant.

It was a blurred dream now. He could have been her husband. Instead of this journey with her he'd endured to make him stronger in life. Unfortunately, it had made him feel frail and weak and a very feeble young man.

He hung on to the counter at Walgreens. He just wasn't sure how much longer he could take it. He was tired. His eyes were red. And he could hear the silent buzzing of lights overhead. Just him and lights. It might stay this way forever.

But then the sliding door slid back. No one. Just dark.

Gordy paid attention then. Was no one really there?

Finally, he saw her. It was Serena, carrying a little bag of something.

"Leftovers," Serena said dropping it on the counter. "How are you? You never called?"

There was an ache in his throat. How could he have forgot? "I was suppose to call?" He winced. He thought she was going call. Anyhow, he wasn't going to rush it. There was this slight shiver of delight that she'd appeared, but then he was left without words. He thought he might have a heart-attack instead.

"I thought, you would."

"Yes," he wanted the words to be fascinating, but he choked. "I'm sorry. Stuff came up. I just thought you might be...busy."

"Me busy?" Now she laughed. It was a hearty laugh. A laugh that echoed through the store.

"Did you walk?" He asked point blank thinking how she got here.

"No, I drove, " Serena grinned. "I'm not helpless."

His ears were killing him as he was massacring this conversation. One more word and she might tell him to go to hell.

"God, I knew that." He cringed. "Sleep deprived. That's it. I'm really sleep deprived." He nodded. He looked all around. They were alone. Terribly alone.

"Then maybe you'll sleep with me sometime, get some real sleep." He heard her say, but maybe she didn't say that at all. Maybe this was just a dream, and she wasn't even here.

He swallowed back the temptation to say anything. He looked in the bag.

"Oh, look, muffins." He reached in and stuffed a fat blueberry muffin in his face. "God, they are so good." He chewed a bit more almost coughed the rest out. "Thank you."

"Then, some time-" Serena was using some sort of gesture with the hand and her other half arm. Gordy just stared and blinked. Here they were talking about the sleep thing, he supposed, yet maybe not. Perhaps he misunderstood.

He licked his dry lips just watching her lips move. So plush and slightly sad, but amazing perky. He saw them closer and then she kissed his lips.

"Bye." She waved then.

"Bye." He watched her walk away. He was sure his hearing was completely gone, but then he heard the sound in the lights once again. It was as if nothing had happened at all. Except for the half eaten muffin on the counter and the white bag of muffins.