harder than it should be

Emily hadn't really had a good look at Gibson who reeked and needed to be changed. It had just happened, and he was smiling now as if he'd done something so cool.

Really he was growing. Bella was shrinking. This was the way it was supposed to work. Although, Bella looked pretty much exhausted. She was in the kitchen getting herself some apple juice and crunching on nuts.

"I know what you did," Emily said playfully to the baby. He was kicking madly as she went to take the pamper off and clean him with a baby wipe. It might have been a tiny dump, but it was stinky. Emily gaged, but she kept from throwing up. She put on some lavender baby oil more on herself than him and changed his pamper quickly. Then his dark eyes looked at her as if she was supposed to pick him up.

"You don't want me," Emily told him. "You only want your Mom. She's got the good stuff. I have nothing for you." She sighed then and picked him up carefully. It felt so awkward, but she was careful, and she noticed the strength as he held his head up.

She then went in to the kitchen with him.

"You know, Jane should be over more often to see her brother," Emily told her.

"Well, she's at daycare."

"Yeah, and who's fault is that," Emily said.

"Look, I'm not ready to take care of the both of them," Bella told her.

"I could help."

"Yeah, when you felt like it."

"I would do what I could." Emily promised.

"You go to school. I'm here all day with them. I might kill them, you know."

"Quit being a drama queen." Emily cuddled Gibson. "He's such a good baby." She kissed his forehead.

"God, please tell me you're not gonna want a baby," Emily begged.

"I'm trying to do what I'm supposed too." She finally handed Gibson over to her. Emily wondered why she even tried, sometimes with her sister.