Friday, December 5, 2008

how am i to be

There were changes. Lots to look forward to. Mostly. Gordy thought, at least. He was at least working in the pharmacy now instead of just a cashier at Walgreens. Things were really looking up. Really.

Of course, there was this slight doubt keeping him from being horribly happy. And he was with Rachel. It was good. He could see it in her face every-time he kissed her. It was contagious. And he was so glad she wasn't talking about it. Them. Couldn't this connection just forge on? It seemed to have a life of its own. They had the girls. They had each other. Maybe if things kept going, they could have their own house one day.

But then there was that idea that Rosco just might tell Rachel something. Anything. OK, maybe that thing with Emily. Why had he told him? Well, Emily would have. It just seemed like the right thing to do then. But now, he had no idea how Rachel would take it. He had a feeling she held grudges long and hard. She had with Andy. Or maybe it was just an excuse because she never loved him, anyway. Well, it was a nice thought gathering in his head while he waited on customers in the pharmacy. He just couldn't let one little thing like that get in the way of something fantastic. But would it be good to tell Rachel. Everything. Really?

Just then he looked up and there was Serena. He thought he might have a meltdown. It felt like glue in his throat. He could hard manage to say, "May I help you." He stared right at her, and she looked right through him as if she never knew him.

"Serena?" It almost broke his heart into a million little pieces to see her standing there as if he were a mere stranger. "Are you OK?"

"Oh, its you," she gulped for air, a smile spread. "Sorry, my mind is like a thousand places at the moment. Christmas shopping. Exams. Sorry. Uh, yeah, I have to pick this up for my mother." She looked as if she was thinking something else to say but he beat her to it.

"So you're looking really, OK." He nodded, taking the prescription.

"I'm just fine," but she looked sad though as she managed a smile and he thought he might start crying instantly. "You look, really good too."

"So what have you been doing? Seeing anyone?"

"Just school. Lots of classes," she nodded. "And work. I keep busy. How about you? Are you seeing anyone?"

"No.' He shook his head and found himself being a liar just for her sake. "Uh," he pulled up the prescription then on the computer then went to get the meds for her. "It was good to see you."

"It was horrible seeing you," she finally managed to say. "I thought I was ready, but I'm not." She managed a smile, sort of, as she backed away. "Sorry." She shook her head and left.

Gordy felt tear seeping around his eyes. When would anything be completely normal, again?

4 comments:

ellie said...

I felt bad for Gordy..so bittersweet.

Cate said...

At least the job in the pharmacy sounds good. I'd like to know how Rachel would take it if Gordy told her that thing about Emily. But she shouldn't hold a grudge against him for that, really not. He didn't even know her back then. If someone should have a grudge, it would have been Serena. Oh Sh*t! I'm always writing the comments WHILE reading, and just when I wrote this part about Serena I saw that you had written about her! I was ABOUT to write 'she never haunts Gordy's mind anymore, it seems' when I saw that she had appeared!!!! It must be painful for him, her seeing right through him as if they never knew each other. I'm feeling sorry for both of them. Whenever Gordy has a reunion with one of his ex-girlfriends, I immediately feel that they should get back together again.

And thanks: the fever is gone! :)

Em said...

Hey I dont know if I've already said this but the outline is really pretty now. Not that it wasnt before. Its just nicer

Rachel ann Ibarrientos Logan said...

your welcome :)
i do make clothes. hopefully i'll be able to get a sewing machine soon and make even better and more!

i've never catched an episode of gossip girl, and stylista is obnoxious to me. i swear the whole show is all cattyness and fighting, while 5-10 minutes of it is actually on the job aspect of it.